Any advise?!

So I’m currently going through some stuff maybe mom related but idk. After I had a baby and lately I’ve been getting more depressed. I’ve lost my laugh, my smile. I’m told I always look sad. I’m completely loosing myself. I’ve had a rough go in life. I just reunited with my dad after 15 years of they guy who gave up on me. He was an abusive drunk before I got taken away. He still gets drunk and everytime I hang out with him I get nervous but he watches his actions around me because he know I get nervous like he’s gonna hurt me. He’s better than why he used to be as a kid. But I just reunited with all of this family like 8 months ago. They don’t understand what I’m truly going thru when some of them are mothers or have been mothers. How do I find myself again, how do I cope with this. I have so much childhood trauma and I feel like my post partum depression hasn’t fully went away but got better and I feel like it’s getting worse. I am home all of the time I am a stay at home mother and it makes me feel so lonely and sad. I got a job interview at a daycare so I can take my son with me but idk I’m nervous. Any advise?

in our community

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Is this normal?

Is it just my husband that does this? He is able to work from home via his computer and in the mornings and evenings he is on there doing his job. When he is done for the day he tends to stay in the room and either play video games or watch something. He will occasionally come out and play with the girls for a few minutes and that’s it but when I really need him he says he is busy. My daughters are both 1 year old now and I am just wondering how much involvement should he have with them now?
Idk if this is the norm or not…..

Saying NO to buying toys etc

5 year old is getting really envious of others. He is obsessed with items that other kids have at school. I am pestered daily to buy these things in a different style when we already have 3 others. I have seen parents just buying stuff their kid likes which I don't necessarily agree with even when i can afford it. How do you deal with it?

Identity crisis?

Am I the only sahm who feels like they have lost their identity??? I don’t make money for my family, when I used to make great money. But I refuse to drop my under a year old baby off with strangers.
My husband works so much. But I have no control over bringing in money and I’m a control freak type of person! I feel l like I’m losing my grip because we are kind of broke, but day care would only eat up my income anyways! So what’s the point. I’m a workaholic and now I’m just a twitching bum.
I wish I could work from home but so far that’s a fake dream. I’m almost 9 months pp, and I just need to know these awful mood swings and depression will end soon! Send wine!

Thoughts?

your soon to be brother in law (upon inquiry) told you that only a few kids from the family were attending his wedding because they are over the age cut off..

Daycare?

Thoughts on daycare?? Truly, I am SCARED to be leaving my kid for daycare. I literally do not trust anyone, not even family (they haven’t given me a reason it’s just trust issues on my end, you never know). He’s turning 3 and I’ve been a sahm the whole time but tbh my man doesn’t make enough for us to move out somewhere more calm . We live in a ‘not so safe’ area in LA and I’m just not used to living here so I just want us to give my son a better life and in order to speed up the process I would have to work.. I do lashes at home and I’d be open to take new clients so I wouldn’t have to look for work but I’m just scared to lose my license 😭