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My Mother In Law Said What?!

I won’t let my MIL mind my baby. Am I wrong?

Hi everyone,
Sorry if this is long, I will try and keep it as short as possible. My partner and I have a little boy who is 4 months old and he is our world. For my birthday a few weeks ago, my partner took me to Spain and our baby stayed with my mum. My mum is incredible with him, there’s no one I trust more than her to mind him. While we were literally on our holidays, My MIL is texting my partner complaining about my mother getting the baby, saying that I’m “keeping her from her grandchild”, just bring her usual manipulative self that my partner falls for every single time 🫠 ;
(just to make it clear I have never stopped her from seeing the baby, we bring him up to see her weekly or she comes here. She just wants to mind him on his own so badly!!)

There are a few reasons why I just can’t leave my baby with her and the biggest one is her constantly disregarding my boundaries. When she came to visit me and baby in hospital, the nurse came in to give me medication. In the 5 seconds that took she kissed my 2 day old baby ON THE MOUTH. I was shaking but I kept calm and nicely asked her to not kiss the baby as it’s not safe for him, of course she had a pity party for herself because she is that damn entitled.

I think the most hurtful thing she’s ever done to me involves her brother, my partners uncle. While I was pregnant we moved into my partners granddads house as we couldn’t afford our own place at the time. The grandad decided to move MIL’s brother into the house. I won’t even go into detail but the man is an animal let me say that. He would smoke weed and get violently drunk and slam things and shout to the point he would even scare me. My partner is very passive and non confrontational but I’m the opposite and it wasn’t fair we had to deal with this especially when we pay rent every week it’s not like we were there for free. On top of that it wasn’t safe to bring a baby into the home with him so I spoke to the grandad about his behaviour.

When the uncle found out he bullied me so badly I was severely depressed for my last few months of pregnancy because of him. 3 weeks before I was induced, my partner and I finally got our own place near my family and I was over the moon. 2 days before my induction, my MIL rang me to say that the uncle is telling the whole family that my baby isn’t my partners child, he actually said the words “bastard child”. I was heartbroken by this even going into have the baby it was in the back of my mind. I told MIL that the uncle will never be allowed to see my son ever. Why would my MIL even see the need to tell me that especially when I’m about to give birth and I’m already stressed? Anyway to cut the whole long story short, she sent a picture of my gorgeous son to the uncle after I specifically told her not to.

My partner and I are going to Amsterdam in November for his birthday and MIL texts us everyday saying she’s minding our baby. I did tell my partner that I am not comfortable with this and he doesn’t understand why as “she has raised two children before”. My main reason is that she will 100% bring the uncle over to see the baby and nothing would break me more. My partner thinks as long as we tell his mum not to bring the uncle over then she won’t🙄 when has his mother ever listened to anyone????

My mum agrees with my partner and says I can’t keep the uncle away from my son forever. I just want to protect my baby, is that so wrong?

Thanks if you read everything and I’m open to honest opinions