I thought it would get easier 😞

Try a moby wrap to have her close to you so she can feel you and hear your heart beat and also check her fingers and toes for a hair tourniquet

Medication was the only thing that helped my post partum anxiety after my first was born. After my second, I didn't wait to start it, and it made a huge difference in how I'm doing. It might be a good option for you to look into, especially since it's gone on so long

I'd talk to your pediatrician about the baby always crying. There might be something they could do to help. I was barely getting any sleep for the first 2 months because the baby was waking every hour, eating small meals and was constantly fussy. In the evenings I would take turns with my husband bouncing with him on a yoga ball for hours. I kept talking to his Dr about it and they finally prescribed him medication for reflux. Now he only wakes up 2x from 7pm-6am, eats larger meals every 3 hours and is very smiley. It's hard to feel like yourself when you're not sleeping and are dealing with an inconsolable baby. I'm not saying you do or don't have PPA/PPD or that baby has reflux but it's definitely worth bugging your Ped about so they look into why baby is so fussy. Continuing to call my Ped and bring it up at appointments was the only reason they suggested meds for reflux.

This meant baby wasn't in pain (so much less crying) and allowed both of us to get on a better sleep schedule which vastly improved my mental health. I hope you're able to figure out whatever works for you and your family.

Do you have anybody to help you out at all? I had a partner when I was suffering, and I felt to ashamed to ask my parents or him, but after letting someone watch my baby and letting my guilt of needing to sleep go, I feel like a different person.