Partner frustration

Just needing a bit of a rant. My partner works from home which is, in theory, great as he's around more than most, however, he's become much less involved and leaves me to everything day and night.
He's just finished work, spent about 5 minutes with baby and then gone out to the gym even though he knows that I had a rough night with the baby and could do with a break. As he left, I asked when I get some time to do something for me and he just said "I don't know" and walked out the door.
When he gets back, I plan to give him a fed baby and leave him to do bedtime. Trouble is that it feels like I'm punishing baby with my absence but I also need to get his dad to realise his role.

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You shouldn't have to ask him when you'll get time alone. Just say I'm having time off on this day etc! You don't need his permission. Plan time for yourself and then leave baby with him x

He could plan going to the gym once baby is in bed x

You deserve a break as well so before he gets off work, see if u can get baby down for a nap if not leave like 5-10mins before he gets off and enjoy so u time. Come back afterwards and don’t think your punishing your baby but it took 2 ppl create life and also 2 ppl take care of it equally 😊

Oh, my husband once said that I am at home all day, while he has to work. Next Saturday I fed her and handed her over. Whole day I only fed her as she's bf, and handed over again. I also told him not to forget to clean bathrooms and kitchen. I sat on bed watching TV all day. He once came saying what to do as she's crying, I said, figure it out (I knew she wasn't hungry, just tired towards the end of the day). He never said anything like that again

We both wfh full time. I care for her during working hours as my job is currently less busy. The only time Hubby takes her is when I take the dog for a walk or go to the gym four times a week. I do mostly everything else for her unless I ask him to bath her etc. On the weekends is when he spends more time with her and I can get a break. Life is busy but I’m determined not to send her to daycare yet.

Since I do most of the care when I tell my hubby I want to go out or need a break he makes it happen every single time. That’s the unspoken understanding we have

My hubby works from home too and he helps out in between where he can or even going for a short walk with the baby to give me a break. I just say to him here you go as I know he’s not busy working (I listen in half the time haha) and I walk off 😅 he does most the night for me so I can rest but I’m exhausted by time it’s time to sleep. Also baby is fine with daddy! Don’t feel bad about it. Happy and rested mommy is best so your doing great by finding me time x

Uhm tell him that you didn’t make this baby on your own why shouldn’t you have regular breaks too? Easiest solution: you simply just leave bubs with him for a good few hours with some pumped milk and go get yourself some rest or get pampered (tell him not to contact you unless it’s an emergency - and no poopsplosions do not count) and he can see how easy it is for himself! Don’t forget to let him know about the laundry/dishes that are piled up and make sure you request dinner and dessert for your arrival home. When you get home demand to know where dinner is, hold baby for 5mins while scrolling through your phone then hand bubs back and go do whatever you like to unwind. This whole “I work so I shouldn’t have to look after baby” thing is bullshit. And Weaponised incompetence is a common thing. We are all learning and trying to be parents for the first time - there’s no excuse for him that he can’t help outside of working hours

My hubby was/is a great supporter of me and our littles (17mo and 14wo). Helps out when needed etc. but one time I had to leave our baby with him for around 7ish hrs. I got home and he looked beyond drained, looking up at me through tired eyes and said something along the lines of: damn I missed you! you mums have it hard, do you mind taking him for a min? After I was done hysterically laughing I took bubs and he got his break. He did have a newfound respect for mums in general and offers me regular breaks or makes an extra effort to pitch in when our littles are fussy or I’m busy with one and the other needs attention. You are not punishing your baby by giving them to their dad.

The same way he just leaves.. you hand him the baby & take time to do something for you. He sounds like he doesn’t care “idk” & walking away is such an insensitive thing to say/do!

Talk about it and agree on a schedule to take care of baby for both of you. For us I do all the nights but my husband takes him first thing in the morning if he is awake to have one hour or so of sleep. Then he does bath and evening feeding

I wasn't feeling well today but still cleaned the house and went grocery shopping. Hubs came home from work and I was heading out to pick up baby for Dr appointment. He offered to drive us etc. I think I looked more tired than I felt. He was a real life saver today because I didn't realize how stressed I was. Having an extra pair of hands really calmed me down. So yeah, we have prescheduled baby watching time but it's also fluid so we can take care of each other

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do