In desperate need of some advice ..

I have been with my boyfriend going on 2 years now and we have a 1 year old.

My boyfriend is a narcissist and everyday I feel like I’m trapped in this house with him. When we got together I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship. About 5-6 months in I ended up pregnant with our daughter. Ever since our daughter has been born our fights have gotten worse and worse to the point it feels like we are roommates avoiding each other.

I have tried to leave but he begs me to stay. He always makes me feel like I need to change… like I know I have problems myself .. I have really bad postpartum depression. I lost my dad in January and ever since then my life has been falling apart but I’m trying to stay strong for my daughter. She’s really the only thing that keeps me going. I just wish I had a partner to support me.

My boyfriend has told me that I am the issue that needs fixing. There’s times where I’m trying to have a good day joking with him and he tells me that he wishes I could just be normal. He guilt trips me into having sex with him by saying “you’re the only girl I’ve ever been with that doesn’t let me touch them”. He has told me that our daughter doesn’t deserve a mother like me. He has told me that my dad would be ashamed to see how I was acting. ( started saying this a month after my dad passed knowing how devastated I was at losing my dad ) He mimics me crying when we are fighting and I get emotional. Just so many things that when I think about it it makes me feel so stupid being here…. Like I’m 25 .. my life shouldn’t be like this and it’s not fair to my daughter.

I want to leave but I can’t muster up the strength to just pack up while he’s not here. I have such a guilty conscience that somehow when I want to leave he makes me feel like our problems are all my fault so I end up staying. I’m tired of living like this. How do you guys suggest I do this ? I want to leave but it almost feels impossible having a daughter together. How/when would I discuss coparenting ? And what do we talk about .. his mom watches our daughter when we work. Would I talk to her too before talking to him so she knows or ? I have a very good relationship with her. Better than what he has to her. She doesn’t like being around him because of how mean he is to her for no reason. I’ve heard him cussing her out just because she interrupted him.

Tia to anyone who responds. I really appreciate it. And I know this is incognito but I would love to connect with people who have been through this.. it would be nice to know I’m not alone … Just let me know.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.