Work is kicking my ass. This is a rant.

Hi!! So.. First child. 14 weeks. High blood pressure, dizzy spells, pelvic pain, insomnia. And the list goes on…

I have a high stress career - which is laughable because it’s not brain surgery or police work. Corporate girlie, here. I literally sit at a desk and/or run from meeting to meeting for 8 hours a day. I also have work-ish obligations outside of office hours (events, dinners, meetings, etc). Those are slowing being declined moving forward.

If I take time to rest (AKA use my weekend to actually recover while foregoing all my housework and errands), I feel OK and can survive Monday. By Tuesday, I’m already struggling.

When I type it out, my immediate thought is I sound selfish af. My only priority should be growing a healthy child. But the way my bills are set up and the lifestyle I’ve work so hard to prepare for my child, let’s be for real. Not to mention, need this health insurance.

Any recommendations to find balance are very, very, welcome. Has anyone had a conversation with their boss about needing extra help or reducing workload? Anybody hiring help for the home?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Another corporate girlie here! I would recommend asking if you’re able to work from home if your job allows it. I’ve had to do it a few times and even if I am still doing work I be feel a lot more relaxed in my own environment because I’m able to sit on the couch or stay in my pajamas. Being around people has made me even more tired from constantly having to have an approachable and uplifting attitude when I don’t really want to, so being able to be at my house alone has helped a ton. If working from home isn’t an option I’d just talk to your work and ask if there’s anywhere you can go to rest for a while during the day, I’ve had to do that a few times too. They’ll most likely be more than willing to accommodate to your needs!

Literally my situation right now. I’m talking with my boss later today about my workload and how I can’t do my job effectively and fill in for a manager role that we’ve had open for almost a year.

Yep. Definitely hired help (cleaners for the house once a week). In all my pregnancies, the first trimester is what my husband calls "the lethargic phase". I survive and sleep, nothing more. My husband picks up the slack around the house. At work, I take it very easy. I work from home mostly, so just nap after lunch. If things don't get done, though luck. After a decade at my company, I think I deserve to take it easy for a few weeks. If they don't agree, they're free to fire me - good luck in replacing me. You have to put down boundaries or work will ruin your life. It'll get better later on in the pregnancy, but for now no guilt in doing what your body needs.

I’m dealing with the same thing right now. I keep falling and passing out. It’s awful. Doctor doesn’t want me to drive further than 5 miles from my house and my office is an hour commute one way 😭 so I’ve been out of work for almost 2 full weeks now with no paycheck and can’t get a response from HR. I have no clue what to do either 😭

I went on leave because I’m too sick and tired to function like a human. Listen to your body!

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?