Attachment/Hitting and Biting

Hi mama! Welcome to NE? Not sure if you're a native here I'm right in NH👋🏻🤣❤️ oddly enough we share Early Ed under our belts, except I'm very new to the field😅 & oh, most of us out here are living with family or roommates because the housing market/rent & food, is inexplicably unlivable. Sooo your beautiful tenacious toddler is hitting, biting, & sounds like loud noises. Among glued to your butt? Parenting is so different from Early Ed isn't it?😭

His behavior as you know is totally normal & a phase! Thank God🤣 I wonder if you try to ignore hitting & yelling, but now you make biting the only issue. Toddlers are like.. juggling a million glass balls. So many will hit the floor. It's catching the ones that need to be immediately cared for. That being said being home with him 24-7 is inevitably the hardest. Because you have to be "on" all the time. So I wonder if turning yourself off to hitting, or maybe just a "oww" then go about the day like it doesn't matter, he may stop. You can also try redirection.

Give him a super hero pillow to "attack" or a stuffy, before giving it.. hit the stuffy & say "OW! That's mean! You no hit me! Ahhh Oliver! he's hitting me! Get him!" & when your toddler engages & does hurt the teddy clap & say "YAYYYY! Good job baby. We can hit (hit the teddy again) this, whenever we are GRRRR MAD!" & just stick to that every time he hits. Make it a big ordeal. He hits? "Teddy! Teddy! Where are you?!" Go find it & give it etc. Loud noises? We are gonna play the "What's that noise? Do you hear it?" Go to the fridge & say "Oh no!" (Make up your own loud noise. This is big imaginative play lol. Console the fridge, hug it & say "You're okay, I'm right here." Repeats loud noises? Continue this process. Go looking for the noise & sometimes say "Uh oh Oliver, are you okay? Silly boy!" Laugh and repeat his noises or make your own up (he's trying to interact with his environment) as for biting, I commend your parenting because he only bites you it sounds like, MAYBE on occasion a close family member

For the biting - When we see our son coming towards us as if he wants to bite we say “bubbles or kisses” and he will blow raspberries so we give him a big silly reaction. It took probably about a week of this solid repetition to where he will automatically blow raspberries now.

With biting, it's a whole "OWWWW!" pretend to cry, give him a whole theatric show. Make it very brief. Look at him sad after fake crying then go to the laundry room, or another room & wait for him to find you. Pretend to be sad when he finds you & hug him. Say "Oliver hurt mama, bite hurts. No thank you" & see how he responds to that. You know your son, say whatever you think is best❤️ but this is the big deal serious one. You can try being completely ridiculous & silly when he yells. That one will be easy to kick. Hitting may happen up to 3-4 years old. & biting, you could try soap in his mouth if it gets to a 3 month period, or you think it's necessary.(a minute amount maybe size of his pinky tip) My daughter went through biting regardless of going to daycare where I work, the teachers are amazing. Another boy in her room was a biter & normal silly boy lmao. Everyone goes through it. Def need an update🫣 & if anyone here can answer biting ideas. My mom and everyone told me to gently bite her back😬

If he's doing it for attention a firm reminder that that behavior isn't okay and some separation immediately between you and him. For instance when my son started this phase I would immediately say ow put him down with a little separation and say "Mommy doesn't like thar if you bite mommy ill have to go take some time to cool down." Then do some deep breathing. After that I would show him an appropriate way to get my attention and drop everything to give him full attention. I did the same for hitting and pinching. I also would offer teethers when he was biting, I kept one on hand consistently. Punching turned into games like hanging balloons and punching/hitting those. Pinching got reflected to fine motor putting beads on a string kind of activities.

Heya, he sounds stressed with the changes. It sounds like a stress response. I would try and talk to him about his feelings and reassure him that he's loved and you guys aren't going anywhere a few times a day.

And when hitting or biting happens. I'd just hold up the 'stop' hand and say 'no thank you' firmly. After that I'd say 'if you bite/hit again then you need to play by yourself for a while. I don't like it.' Then follow through and give him space if he does it again.

But he sounds nervous/anxious I'd talk to him frequently

Thank you for your input, it’s definitely something to look into. However, there haven’t been any changes, minor or major in his life that could make me think that it’s a stress response. I do think that it’s just normal toddler things however, the frequency of it happening when he’s mad is becoming more often. There’s only been one change and that was my mother buying a house but my mother got herself established in that house very quickly. It smells like home so it’s not like he’s not comfortable there. We live with my father and my stepmother and we have for the last year so that’s not like it’s anything new either, he’s constantly surrounded by me and my husband and my parents don’t on him constantly. The only thing is he’s not in daycare so he’s not around other children his age often and that’s due to our financial situation.

Is there anything else you can think of maybe?