I need to rant

Yea. We are in the same boat.
Unfortunately for me, I don’t think my bf will ever change.

Yes, I resent my bf a lot. We are in the process of moving but I pretty much have to pack everything. He only packed his things but apparently everything in the kitchen, the bathroom, and our son's things is mine. It's been hell packing and taking care of a six month old but I fucking did it. But I still get berated because I have too much shit. Ughmm okay so you don't use any of the pots and pans and plates and soap and lotion?!?! Ugh 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Meee. I got tired of cleaning up after him. I leave his stuff now and throw everything in a corner. I get tired of repeating myself. It’s exhausting. Mine works his ass off, but so do it. I work full time and I still have to clean and look after the kids.

Well he helps with the kid, if I ask him for help. A few times he will offer but it's after he gets off work and turns into a supervised nap for both of them and I still don't feel like I can get stuff done then. So I'm to the point now of cleaning for my own sanity because he does it eventually but I hate repeating myself. We will even be having a conversation and he zones out or gets on his phone for a second and I say that it's nothing at that point because I've had to repeat myself my whole life with my family as well.

I used to get really down about this, but I've almost got to the point where I don't care anymore which isn't a good thing. We've had a lot of conversations but I think we just see things very differently. He doesn't think cleaning or tidying is important and that life should be enjoyable, which I agree to an extent but I think that's a really immature attitude when you have a family together. We both work full time too which is even more of a pain in the ass. He's been slightly better recently at helping out but the majority of it including organizing silly things like we need lightbulbs from the shop, falls to me.

Well that's how it is about calling about babies appointments or dealing with him screaming all day in my ear ( the baby) and he always finds a way to get out of everything. It's either he has work the next day and he can't do it so it falls on me or he says he will and then he falls asleep for the night

Would a cleaner be an option? Even a couple of hours every other week just to help you keep on top of the bigger things?

I have thought about it but we really can't afford it and we live an hour away from town and away from family and friends because I would pay someone to buy we are living off my husband's income because I am not working at the moment

Girllll my son turned 1 September 19th and I STILL feel this way towards my bf.. I am a SAHM currently and my man works full time.. but honestly if I wasn’t at home with my baby all day, we’d have to pay for childcare and I feel like I take on so much during the day and am working a job I don’t get paid for and it is EXHAUSTING. I have to remind him to do things like 3x before I ask and he gets annoyed when he has an off day or is home in a decent time before our baby goes to sleep and I want chill time bc yk my relax time is when he’s home since he’s available to help out.. I hate having to ask my bf to do the dishes or take the trash out, maybe help feed our son a meal or change a diaper, I feel like I shouldn’t have to ask. And I feel annoying when I do. Makes me just want to do it myself honestly. I also hardly get to wash my laundry or take a shower and I desperately miss having “me-time.” Hang in theyr mama. I know you’re doing amazing and I 100% understand how you’re feeling

There

As far as trying to find a sort of solution; there's always options to talk over with your SO, like lists. You could do a daily list, where there are just a couple of home things that would really help if he contributed when he got home. You could also take it from a different route and make a list/schedule of what you plan to do the next few days and split it up some, so that the both of you can 'divide and conquer'. Just something written down that he can start visually seeing and mentally planning for while he is at work. That way you don't have to repeat yourself, he has something to refer to, can cross his tasks off, and possibly see that if he isn't crossing these things off/getting them done, he'll hopefully have that voice in his head saying, 'shit I really need to get that done and over with'. Sometimes putting both of your tasks, separated, for him to see, will also help him notice how much you've already done aside from taking care of your guys' child. It also helps to make them feel like it's

Not just focused on them needing to get their shit done, but it's a partnership where you're both on there. And if there are some things that you miss, he'll see that too and know that it's not the end of the world if something does happen to get pushed to the next day. Trying to find a common ground to meet on can be a touchy task when it comes to this situation, but it is very important. Good luck mamas, I hope this helps, at least a bit

I'm there with you. I work part time and my husband is SAHD since he has some medical issues. I have problems with my back, hips and knees and walk constantly so we won't have to load up our son in the car for a ten minute drive to my work. I've left him lists of things I need help with at home (dishes, laundry, picking up around the house), but when I get home from work at 1030p the house still looks like a hurricane blew through and nothing has been touched. He says it's because he's chasing our son around, but on days off, all he does is sit around on his phone ignoring both of us.

yes i totally know where your coming from!

Girl I feel you so much. Men ain’t shit

Yes I feel this, he also uses the whole “I work a full time job so you can stay home” card on me or the “you chose to stay home with her” 🤔
Doesn’t start doing or changing unless he sees me actually trying to leave so I definitely understand

I'm 30 weeks, so not there yet, but it's already been frustrating and distressing. I don't think he gets it at all. I have to still do everything, and he's just telling me "let's plan it"... I can't imagine what will happen when the baby comes...