My partner told me he was going to slap the F**ck out of me.
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First, I’m sorry this happened to you!! No one should be spoken to this way, irrespective of the situation. I agree with Niecee. Bring it up. If you let this slip any longer, he will continue to disrespect your boundaries and think it’s OK to talk to you that way!!
he should never took that personal you was playing around he ain't right for that and nothing to be embarrassed about don't let him talk to u like that I'm sorry that happen
I’m so sorry you were spoken to like that. Definitely bring it up, over the phone maybe if you feel uncomfortable? That’s incredibly violent/aggressive language and I would let him know how it’s made you feel. That’s your trust/boundaries being pushed and the shock of it is probably why you didn’t react. Don’t blame yourself. This is all on him and it is completely unacceptable.
U should talk to him about it maybe he took it personally and didnt realise u was joking Im sorry that happened to u
Without a doubt, you should share that this happened with someone, maybe your mom. As amazing as he may be, and probably has been great up to that point, the very fact that something like that was said could be the start of some progressively worse interactions. So better safe than sorry, in terms of just letting someone else know privately, so that it's never your word against his. So so sorry this happened. Praying you two can talk it through and move fwd.
Personally that’s unacceptable to me. No matter what situation, no man will tell me he will slap the f out of me 🚩I’d have a serious conversation with him, cuz this is something I would not tolerate.
Honey, I'd start writing things down. This is general rule for everyone- if anyone threatens you, hurts you, calls you names write it down. So you don't forget and you can start to see a pattern, but also to build a case if you need one. Hopefully, this is a one off and he was having a bad day, but🚩🚩 I would shook
Speak to him and tell him exactly what you feel and said here, sounds like you love one another and he will understand how you feel x
Thank you everyone, so helpful hearing how you all would of reacted and the different point of views. Its been helpful in also helping me find the words to describe how I am feeling. I guess im feeling dumb also because his best friend is actually extremely abusive to his gf (I’ve done my best to be a support person for her, she chooses to be with him no matter what) and I always tell him, “like I can’t believe she takes that kind of bs from him” or “I can’t believe she forgave him… is still with him… tolerates that sort of behavior” blah blah and here I am…I stayed quiet in that moment and didn’t say anything…
@Karla no he wasn’t because after that it got super awkward..he would of mentioned it if he was joking. He’s not the type to hold back what he needs/ wants to say
@Karla even if he was just “joking” in his mind, this is not a joke. This is abusive and controlling. Like my partner and I have gotten into some heated arguments and we both have tempers but he has NEVER and I mean NEVER EVER threatened to slap the shit out of me. Not privately more less in the home of his own damn family. And for that to be out of character for him, oh hell no. There is no way someone says that in a serious tone and then jokes about it. And let’s say he was joking, that’s not something you joke about. You don’t joke about putting your hands on your partner like that, especially when it has to do with your crying baby. You’re belittling her as a human, a woman, and a mother.
I don't know the tone he said it in, but I'm just going to offer another perspective. If my man leaned in and told me he was gonna slap the f**k out of me, I'd not take it as a threat at all. You know him best and u know the risk of violence best, but I'd never just cut and run cus of a potentially misunderstood outburst. Has he ever hit you? What makes u think he will? My partner threatens me with stuff but if he says he's gonna slap the f**k out of me, he means spanking and rough sex. And I don't get scared, I get excited. Was he trying something new? Doesn't he deserve some benefit of the doubt before u go report him for DV and run off? If he was genuinely scary and annoyed yeah I get it, but if u aren't sure.. definitely talk about it? He can't read ur mind, he doesn't know how u feel about it.
@Kendra Im not really the type of person to tell my friends or family when we fight. I guess I don’t want people seeing us differently. I feel like I especially can’t bring it up to my mom because my dad has the utmost respect for my mom and I’ve never even seen him raise his voice at my mom.. so I’m embarrassed
@Heidi he definitely didn’t say it to turn me on. He has never hit me before.. I think he took it personal because the other day his mom was talking to my baby saying, “why haven’t you came to visit me” and she says that ALL THE TIME. We go once or sometimes even 2x a week, but for-sure always once a week. I think she tries to make my bf feel guilty for not going more often and I always just hear her but the other day I said, “you know where we live, we are literally 5 minutes away, you can come visit us too”. That’s exactly how I said it, I wasn’t rude or anything I was just annoyed that she wants us to be there like every day and tries to make us feel bad so I spoke up. When I said that my bf just said my name to get my attention.. tryna tell me not to have said that. But I didn’t say anything wrong! He just said, “you better have the house clean all the time”. Idk if it’s because I spoke up that day that he took this personal…
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The way he said it was scary and now I feel like I’m going to be walking on eggshells at his family’s house. He’s really good at being an asshole and talking shit… he talks like that to his friends… but always says it in a more jokingly tone… which was not the case on Sunday.
Yeah that doesn't sound nice at all - I'd be a bit wary of him if that's the case.. his parents definitely seem to be a touchy subject!!
He sounds super protective of his mother. Maybe mummy’s boy or finds it unattractive when DIL don’t “have respect” for their MIL? either way terrible thing to say. My partner would never. Off topic slightly - In my culture we don’t talk back to MIL or anything though- we smile, nod and do our best to help our MIL as they help us too. Respect is everything. Not saying you were being rude or anything at all. Just wondering if that’s how he expects you to be. Either way I’m NOT condoning a single thing. Thats messed up
We get what we fear.(to change . To let go) Talk to him. Don't tolerate that. What you tolerate it's become your reality. Love yourself ❤️
You should definitely have a conversation about it. Tbh. I was in a DV relationship for years and it gets worse. Granted every situation is different but frfr I'd bring it up.