Advice needed - baby routine
My little girl is now 12 weeks old and we have never had a routine. She tells me when she is hungry and sleeps when she likes. (Still 2 hours wake windows). Whilst she is starting to form a routine of her own and I’m noticing patterns I’m really struggling to know how to go about bed times. She usually sleeps after a bottle and bottle times vary depending on when she wakes up in a morning (usually every 2.5/3 hours). Since she was young I have always just taken her to bed after her last bottle at around 11/11:30 when I go to bed (she sleeps before this downstairs) and this is purely because I wasn’t ready for sleep. She then wakes up at around 2/3am and then 7/8am.
I’ve tried the whole bath bottle and bed to get her into a routine but bathing every night was drying her out and stimulates her more than anything and every night changes based on when she is due a feed. She’s currently not had a bottle since 6pm and has slept from 6:40 ans is still sleeping now at 9:30 with no signs of waking up or hungry. If I wake her up now she will likely not finish a bottle and and fall back to sleep. Some babies at this time are in bed and sleep through so do I wake her or leave her and try taking her up to bed when she has these late evening sleeps ?
I’m blessed that she sleeps well but it’s hard to not want a routine and I have no idea what to do for the best .
Please help.
Ps she is gaining weight and bottles are 5oz but rarely finishes them off.
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I have no advice but just here to say my LO doesn't have a routine apart from feeding roughly every two hours. Previously I have taken him up around half 8 and he has settled and then woke up during the night for feeds. Last night he didn't fully settle until half 11, had one feed in the night and has slept through, with a lot of active sleep. He literally seems to be making up his own routine each day.
It helpful to know that we aren’t the only one ! I feel awful for complaining as she’s a dream and sleeps really well but everything I read online and even on this forum says that by 12 weeks they should have a routine. Let me know if you find a way that works x
I think more often than not they’ll put themselves into one when they’re ready. My boys 10 weeks and in the day there’s zero routine. Sometimes he’ll finish 5oz and then sleep for 2-3 hours, sometimes he’ll only have an oz or 2 and sleep for 1-2 hrs. If we’re out the house majority of the day he’ll be asleep the whole time and happily go 4/5 hours with no feed. In the evenings the only thing I kept the same was a daily bath and massage with moisturiser after starting around 7. He used to go down for the night when I did around 10.30, from 7-10.30 every evening was different. but then last week he suddenly started just wanting to deep sleep around 8.30. So for the past week it’s been bath at 7, bottle, read and then sleep. He wakes up around 5am, then back down until about 8.30/9. I just listen to him though and don’t force anything. They’re constantly changing so to force a routine is just going to be stress x
Don't feel awful, it's natural. Especially as like you say all the "advice" or articles say they should have a set routine. Every baby is different and are people at the end of the day, not just something we can totally mold to how we want them. We can't force them to abide to certain timings if their internal clock doesn't want too. I'm just going to keep trying to stick to the routine of taking him up at roughly half 8 and having quiet time. And hope eventually he will settle into that routine. That way he will technically have a routine but if he still takes a while to finally sleep then I'll just have to live with it 😂 x
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