Tired and Stressed from being the Default Parent

Hey Everyone! I don’t know if I just need to vent or I’m looking for advice, but I am very tired of being the default parent. My boyfriend (27) and I (29) have an 11 month old daughter together. I will obviously give credit where credit is due, he is a really good dad and provider and I know how much he loves our daughter and me too.

On the other hand though, I feel like I’m consistently the one doing EVERYTHING when it comes to our daughter. I’m am always the one getting up with her in the morning, making sure everything is packed up for the sitter, shuttling her to and from the babysitters, feeding her, putting her down for naps, bathing her (he does bathe her time to time, I would say 70/30 comparison), playing with her and putting her to bed. And on top of this, I am still exclusively pumping!

In my opinion, I’m a really easy going person and it takes a lot to get to me or get under my skin. I’ve had conversations with him before just nicely stating that sometimes I need a break and that it would be appreciate if sometimes I could get it. Like I would love a morning when I can just sleep in 😭. Sometimes I feel as though he needs to reprioritize his life. In my opinion, I think it would be really cool if certain days, he would prioritize helping me with our daughter rather than playing videos games with his buddies.

Yesterday I was just over everything with him gaming from 2pm until 10pm. At one point I’ve got the dog bringing me all of his toys, our daughter getting mad because I won’t let her touch a power cord while Im pumping and trying to eat at the same time.

I think all in all, I just want him to realize I need help and to go out of his way to help me without being asked.

in our community

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

Parenting 24/7 is harder than going to work full time?

I’m having a debate with my partner as he’s done nothing to help since. Our 14 month old was born, I’ve done it all alone all day and all night. He gets a break when he comes in from work all night I never get a break
He try’s to tell me it’s harder going to work full time 5 days a week than parenting ALONE 24/7?
What do you think

What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..

When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.

Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

Potty training ready?

Hello everyone I was wondering if my son may be potty training ready? My son is 17m almost 18m old. He is not afraid of the toilet and actually curious about it. He is always trying to rip off his diaper even when completely dry and once he gets it off he throws it around like 3 times before he walks away. However, I did hear one sign that makes kids potty ready is dry diapers at night. He still fills up those bad boys. So in all of your experiences do you think hes ready?

I live in a small 2 bedroom flat. How do I keep my home smelling nice?

Especially bedroom considering dirty laundry lives in there too. I do laundry once a week because I don’t use enough to do more frequent.
But I just want my room smelling nice and cosy.

The more natural the method the better ladies 😣
I open windows everyday. I don’t get enough sunlight for plants 😭