Am I horrible... food/weight

I love my husband so much and am still very much attracted to him.

But I get so frustrated at the fact that he complains that he's gained weight and can't fit in his nice clothes anymore.

Then, he continues to eat tones of high calorie foods , like chips, biscuits, bread, and beer all the time.

I have to stick to a basic non junk food diet due to a stomach condition I have. I am unhealthy in a different way. I am malnourished due to a lack of variety in foods due to my chronic illness.

I am just so fed up in listening to him complain, then eat all the junk food. Particularly since a slice of cake would make my violently sick.

I tried to raise it with him, told him that it wasn't because I'm less attracted to him, but because I want him to like himself more.

He said that maybe he eats more rubbish because he can't cook nice tasty meals anymore because of my health condition.

Between us both, we're not going to be setting a great example for our future child.

:(

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Hi 👋 you’re certainly not horrible 😊

You can’t be expected to go round in circles of listening to his self inflicted weight issue if he’s not willing to help himself, and then a 🚩 with him turning it around on your illness - not cool x

Are there any meals you could cook together of which you could still eat elements of? So say you fry some pork and have some vegetables on the side, could you ensure that whatever you can eat is prepared safely for you to stomach, while your husband can eat everything else, so you are still cooking and eating together, just different elements of the same meal?

@Isabella, :(, we eat quite separately because I was peskitarian, he hates fish, and I couldn't eat other meat along with my restricted diet. But recently, after 10 years of being peskitarian, I've actually started to eat some forms of meat like chicken (shows how much im trying to increase my diet). But cooking is very difficult, because there is more I can't eat than can these days. I have a dietician, etc, to try and help. The best we can do is eat veg, some sort of meat and potatoes :( . I think we need to work on cooking together more though, see what we can make. I just have a lot of anxiety about trying new foods because one slightly wrong thing can make me sick for weeks. I think I need to do more food preparation for sure. Rather than always having something quick.

However, this only works if I'm not flared. Sadly, when I am flared, I'm stuck with just toast, plain rice, plain pasta, and potatoes for my meals, with no seasoning until I heal.

It definitely sounds like the dietician is necessary to help with the dos and don'ts. Maybe he/she can help you put a bit of a food menu together for cooking? Personally, I find that cooking together really helps. When I met my husband 15 years ago he could just about fry an egg, now he looks up recipes online and when he knows I don't like something or can't eat it, he will substitute things or cook an additional food for me to have. So maybe once you feel more confident with a menu that is suitable for you (maybe just start with just one day a week and work your way up) you might feel more comfortable cooking together with your husband and then things might improve from there. I see your frustration with him, and it definitely isn't nice that he blames you for the way he's eating, but maybe he is just frustrated and upset himself, and probably even worried about you, to the point, that he might just be eating out of frustration or being in a sort of self-destructive mode.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?