Backstory; my mil has never liked me but she is fake and does a good show. That she is nice and her favorite character is the victim. All her son’s always run to her rescue. After 10 years of marriage my husband can now acknowledge that both his parents are coco puffs crazy. She blames me for my husband not seeing his brothers, not seeing them his parents, etc. A month ago sent me an awkward text saying let’s do dinner for my husband’s birthday. We me our kids and hubby met them at a restaurant for dinner. She was playing up her role of victim. Today texts me if I would like to go to dinner my family and her (my in-laws). I tell her busy month. But I’m debating to say to her to I don’t appreciate her little girl behavior.
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The thing I have learned over time and especially MILs is that they will rarely change. If you tell her she behaves like a victim/little girl, it will be yet another reason to excel in that exact role. Just think about what the potential win would be? Do you think she would actually listen and take it on board? If it's just for you to feel better that you got it off your chest, I would keep my mouth shut and just set boundaries I am happy with. I.e. if you can only deal with her once a month, say you are busy the other times and let her play the victim.
Right. I was thinking about telling her I don’t appreciate her little games. And she knows she is doing something wrong because when she does it she looks to my husband to see what his reaction will be. He didn’t say anything. That’s typical for him. Currently, I see his parents once or twice a year. And I like it that way.