Baby gender pressure 😫

This was me but when I found out I’m having another boy the disappointment lasted one day. Yes everyone wanted me to have a girl but I was actually happy to have another boy. I started wondering how similar he would look to his brother and how i would watch their brotherly bond and dress them matching stuff now and again and play the same toys together. Im even happy I have the same genders now. So don’t feel bad. People get over it. It would be nice but actually I’m happy I’ve got two of the same. Also it never stops … the comments. Even now… “so when’s the girl coming?” “You going to try for a girl?” “We need a girl now” lol you get used to it.

I feel this so hard.... My family is all like " maybe you'll have a girl next" and I'm like " we'll see" or " that's up to hubby" which is correct biologically, he contributes an x or a y .... And we haven't even started trying for a next.... Because we won't for a year, he's too young to be a big brother

When I found out I was pregnant this time everyone kept saying I hope you have a boy this time or this one as gotta be a boy, I said from the off it was gunna be another girl and if so will have 3 girls. Eveyone keeps asking if am gutted Ave not got a boy and am really not xx

I have a 12yo stepson. At the gender reveal party for my 21mo, we learned that we were having a boy. The first thing my FIL said directly to me was, "That's okay. The next one will be a girl." Uh, sir, excuse you?

We've decided not to have any more children, we have a three bedroom house so everyone has their own space now. We still haven't specifically sat FIL down and told him, but I have talked about it at family gatherings, so maybe he knows.

I was hoping for a girl since we already had a son. It did take me a little to get used to it, but I love my son soooo much.

I know 100% my mum will say “oh i bet husand is Hoping for a boy”

My husband does not care

I hear you! It's so frustrating. We have a boy toddler and we found out we're pregnant with a girl. My MIL said to us that my husband "can get the snip now" and we "got them in the right order". Eh?! What do you mean? Apparently my MIL thinks she has a say in our family planning 🙄

I have 4 (3 boys and 1 girl). The you finally got your girl comments are annoying.

If I feel like explaining that I also have a SD and we lost 2 baby girls, it gets super awkward. 😒

I've dealt with it, but it never bothered me.

I'm a mother of two boys, and just focus on my little piece of heaven that is home. My boys are close, share many of the same interests, and I know they will have each other's back long after I'm gone. I don't think kids of different genders can get as close as kids of the same genders, but I've also seen the opposite is true too.

If you're done at 2, just communicate that you had a number of children planned, not the genders and you're happy with what you were blessed with.

My boys are 8 and 11, and their cousins of the same age that are little girls are quite a trip. I'll take my affectionate, well mannered little gentlemen over my nieces any day!!!

Your answer should be…

I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl as long as it healthy. And leave it as that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thank you for sharing your experiences everyone. It's sad and annoying that people make such thoughtless comments casting their unasked for opinions without any consideration of how useless their words are and the mental and emotional impact that can have on someone during such an important journey - pregnancy!

Girl, if standing up and telling someone when they've crossed a line makes you an asshole then I guess I have the same t-shirt! 😁
The problem is, when a comment like that triggers such an extreme emotional response in me, my brain goes blank and I struggle to think of something to make it clear how unacceptable their comments are. Then of course I ruminate about my moment of muteness and that stresses me out even more! 😤
So I can prepare (😂) what would you hypothetically say to someone who expressed their opinions about what gender child you should be having?

I think that is such a good response - I had a number of children planned, not their genders. Thank you!

it's incredible isn't it, how people just ASSUME?

I hear you.
I can only imagine how annoying and painful such thoughtless comments aree 🙁

congratulations on both your babies! 🩵🩷
What did you say back to your MIL?! I know everyone is allowed to have an opinion but broadcasting their unasked for opinion in situations like this? A great big hell no!

I feel you ❤️
It took me a while to separate my fantasy daughter in my mind from the son I was blessed with.
I realised I had been fixated on this picture I had in my head of having a girl, doing girly stuff together, having this super close bond, etc. without realising that nothing was guaranteed - just having a daughter doesn't mean we're going to have a super close bond or that she'd want to do girly stuff with me or be anything like me!

I'm so grateful I chose to find the gender out before my baby was born because then I had time to accept and grieve the loss of my fantasy and try to clear my mind so I could see the blessing of my wonderful son that was on his way.

Exactly. It's words like that - gutted - that people use which really get to me! How heartbreaking for the poor baby who couldn't choose its gender and isn't even here yet to be thought of as something it's family might be gutted over. Ridiculous.
I know people can have preferences but don't they hear just how wrong it is when they express disappointment over a precious new life just cos it isn't one gender or the other?

Everytime someone as me if am gutted I say no my baby healthy and that’s all that matters xx

I get this.
I remember clearly when I was pregnant with my son, a few people said - oh I'm sure it's going to be a girl as you come from a family full of girl children. I was like - um, did you study basic biology at school? I have zero say in whether I produce a boy or a girl. I just have all the Xs, so that's all on my husband - and honestly, even he can't choose whether his X or Y will meet my X first! Mental! 😂

thank you for what you wrote ❤️. It made me a bit emotional as I've spent the last few weeks really worrying about what I'm going to have. But thinking about what you said regarding how similar they might look, watching their bond, matching outfits, playing together, etc. made me feel wuite emotional and helped put things a bit more into perspective for me. Really, thank you x

Also, my son has made it crystal clear that he would be delighted with either a baby brother or sister so... that's all I really need ☺️❤️

We have had two losses so we don’t care what this baby is. At all.


I will add i was absolutely sure that I would only have boys . I always said that. Then they told me I was having a girl and I cried cause I didn’t wanna be like my mum to her, she is absolutely awesome and I love her so so much, but I honestly never saw myself as a “girl” mum. I’m not very girly at all. She loves everything pink and sparkley and I think the world knew I needed her.

oof.... Hubby and I were both hoping for a girl, and it took us longer to pick a name for a boy.... But a name came to him, we talked it over and we agreed on it..... And we are both smitten with our son 🥰

hugs 🫂

@ im so glad how things turned out she’s the best little person