Is this neglect and am I a bad mum?

Just a little back story- i currently live with my mother on a shared tenancy. I was meant to live with my ex however we separated a week before move in date when I was 5 months pregnant. Due to current financial circumstances at the time, having depression and anxiety and it being hard to move in general I re-signed the tenancy with my mother in the early months of the year and I have raised my daughter here in my “family” home ( I will add that I do pay my way) .

My mum has always had opinions and tried to do things her way which I have said no
To as they tend to be .. not old fashioned as she’s only 45 but just not how I would like things in this day and age for My child.

Since my daughter was 4 months old (she’s now 11 months old) my mum has completely switched towards me. She has been having moments of anger over nothing ( ie: once I locked the back door and you would of thought I killed her from the reaction), she throws things, slams things, screams (practically spitting) in my face - even when I’m holding my daughter, tells me she doesn’t want me here and all in all says horrible things to me which are constantly tearing me down.

I will just state that she absolutely adores my daughter, she is in awe of her and she loves spending time with her and having her whilst I bath in the evenings which I’m really appreciative off.

As a full time single mother who does part time work doing social Media for a couple local business in town I’m also the full time care taker of “our” home and my mums pets. I am exhausted ALL the time, with all of this and trying to have a social life I am just drained, emotionally and physically. On the days my mum has off from work I tend to stay in my room for longer as the front room no longer becomes a free space, once my daughters up I give my daughter a bottle and if she doesn’t go back down I pop her on our bedroom floor so she doesn’t fall of the bed crawling around ( the entire bedroom is baby proofed floor to ceiling as I have ocd and I’m a big worrier in general but my beds very high) I give her, her toys and her juice and I put moana on for her as it’s her favourite film.( my daughter talks, crawls, feeds herself and walks around furniture, she also hates sitting still but is happy doing her own thing.. she’s 11 months old going on 11 years) When she’s happy on the floor I tend to drop off back to sleep not always intentionally but I’m just exhausted. (I am also the worst morning person to have ever existed) some times when I’m still 95% asleep I shout telling my daughter to stop pulling my hair and biting me but once I actually awake I of course don’t shout. (I NEVER shout at her, ever. I am stern when she’s “naughty” but I never shout) my shouting in the morning is never intentional and I always feel guilty when my mother has told me of it once I make my way down stairs.

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Today she has started tearing me down again, this time for no reason as we have had a peaceful/enjoyable day ( I tend to treat her as much as possible to try and get her to like me as I feel that she doesn’t even though we used to be the bestest of friends ) we were sat in the front room after she got back from a dinner with my Nan and auntie and we were catching up on what they did before I went to join my daughter upstairs (asleep in her cot) when out of no where she tells me that im neglectful and a bad parent for those two things I stated before about the shouting and putting her on the bedroom floor^. I have gotten used to my mums harsh words and behaviour but I am now in bed cuddling my daughter having a full on breakdown. Is she right? Am I neglectful and a bad mum? I feel like no matter what I do I just can’t get life right these last 6 months. My relationship with my in and out dad has disintegrated along with my step sister and step mum. I feel like I have no one to turn too or anyone that will hear me out. I don’t know who to turn to or how to get out of this house either.
Is she right?
Honest opinions are welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

in our community

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

Sahm .. the dad role .

Hi!! I’m 2 months pp. and I really would like your opinion on this situation if you have a moment.
So I have always had a job before the baby, and my bd .. not really. But 2 weeks before he was born he scored a really good job and I was able to be a sahm. Which is what I wanted , and I’m unsure if it’s still what I want or if the situation just isn’t right.
At first he was a great help in the hospital as I had an emergency c section. I was in the hospital for about a week and for most of that time I was in bed .
But after that.. I’m lucky if he will watch the baby while I shower .and I mean that seriously.
I am the only one who changes diapers, only one who bathes , feeds or watched him in general. And of course he may be tired after work but it’s like he completely avoids any responsibility. Like he will take a hour coming home and stop by his friends house otw . He will sit down stairs for hours knowing I won’t go down there bc I’m uncomfy . So I have the baby then.
We have been out maybe 2-3 times sense I had him & he refused to push the stroller c change or anything. In fact we got to the mall and said he needed to split up and I had the baby.
I feel he only wants the baby when it’s for … attention? Like to post the baby on social media or if his family is here he will take him .

I just feel like on days he doesn’t have work the next morning he should be helping , and if he is up early before work while I’m still sleeping he should get the baby instead of scrolling on reels for 3 hours .

Honestly he has really ruined my new born phase with my son. Within the first week of us being home I had to full on switch to survival mode I would call it. He would complain if dinner wasn’t done or if the room was a mess , he would complain if the diaper caddy had no diapers which really makes no sense bc he didn’t even changed the diapers . It was just everything.
I’m just wondering if there is anything I could say to get some type of help out of him.
I tried reaching out to his mother but honestly his hole family is oblivious to his behaviour.

Nursery ideas

Guys I need help! This is going to be my daughter’s nursery and I want to make it cute. Help me find an aesthetic look or a good layout to place some furniture/cribs etc!!

Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me “I shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?

Blw

Hi I am running out off ideas on what to make for Lil 14 month old for breakfast lunch and dinner if anyone have any resipes would be great to try my boy with them

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?