My son’s teacher asked me if something was going on at home 😞

When I went to pick up my son from school today, he was crying in the corner. I asked what was wrong and at first he told me he didn’t feel good, then told me he couldn’t find something. We walked into his classroom from the hall to get his stuff and his teacher came in and said that out of nowhere my son got upset and started saying my dad this and my dad that, and was crying and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong; they asked me if something was going on at home. I don’t know if I should be offended or hurt by this, but it breaks my heart because the last thing I want is for my son to have issues. My husband has some anger issues and yells a lot and I feel like I get overly overwhelmed and upset at times, but I don’t know what his teacher was insinuating by that and it just broke my heart. My husband later told me he went to school to drop his friend off at his car because they met there on the way to work and he thinks my son saw him and didn’t pick him up but I think he could’ve been napping at that time, so I’m just worried.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I don’t think it’s anything to be offended about- your child was visibly distressed and talking about his dad, its completely normal for the teacher to then ask if there’s anything they should be aware of that’s going on at home that could be causing your son to be upset. Nobody has insinuated anything by asking you if there’s anything going on. They are looking out for his wellbeing. Would be more concerned or worried if the teacher appeared to not care at all about the fact he was so upset.

Avatar

Why be offended that your child’s teacher cares enough to try and get to the bottom of your son’s upset? If your child kept talking about his dad through tears then it would be negligent of his teacher NOT to ask.
I work in child mental health and education and I would share the concern of the teacher, especially when he hasn’t been able to either identify or express why he is sad. It may well be that your husband’s anger is upsetting him; anger is a huge emotion that we as adults struggle to deal with, so it wouldn’t be unusual for a child to be upset from witnessing an adult experiencing intense anger. Either way, I’m glad that his teacher has his well-being at the centre of her care and I hope your little boy is feeling better today and able to express to you what was hurting him x

Avatar

Totally normal thing for them to ask. They both care enough to ask and also (UK) are legally required to ensure the safeguarding of the child so if they are crying and saying about dad, they really should be asking. They will have to note this down anyway. They will want to support abd work with you is all xx

Avatar

As a teacher myself, this is something we do ask parents as it can help us to support the child in school. They don’t mean any offence but just want the best for your child and your family.

Avatar

With all due respect, it sounds like yes something is going on at home and that this may be an opportunity for growth… it sounds more like the teacher was making an observation and instead of being offended, it may be helpful to take this as an opportunity to change how you all communicate bc it’s obviously affecting your son.

Avatar

As a teacher, we say these sorts of things because we care about the student (and family). When we notice things being “off” with a student it’s important that we say something so we can take steps to help out the student.
I would question if you/your husband are working through your anger and overwhelm issues. If you are, your child will notice this and will work on his potential ones as well.

Avatar

The teacher did the right thing by bringing it up. Yelling around children whether it's at them or not will be scary for them and upsetting. Your little boy did the right thing by sharing his feelings and he should be praised for this. Maybe your husband needs to seek some help so your little one doesn't become further impacted upon xx

Avatar

Honestly in my opion I understand we’re your comming from but it’s a positive thing that that the teacher has asked this it shows she is doing her job eg safeguarding and supporting. Some parents may have issue and may find it hard to talk and may need support , also if your son is around this behaviour even if he doesn’t whiteness his dads anger he can definitely sence tension,

It’s so sad when parents come in for parties eg coffe mornings and spend time with their children at school then the event ends and the parent goes home it’s so confusing for this child and upsetting also kids don’t understand time so he may have seen dad and maybe that played on his mind all day,

but please don’t be offended I work in a school and I would have had to ask the same thing because how can we understand the change in a child behaviour to support them best sometimes it can also be an issue we’re child service need to be involved so we have to ask these things to safeguard the child.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

5 month old activities

Hey everyone my baby is 5 months old and I want to reduce/cut screen time as I have read up on how bad it is what activities did people do to keep their baby entertained. Thank you in advance.

Avatar

4

My friend is over from another country but I don't feel like leaving the house

One of my old friend's is visiting where I currently live and we agreed to meet up today but I feel so tired and exhausted from everything that's been going on with me. I feel if I meet her I'm going to end up having another breakdown from the exhaustion which I have been having often. I'm just thinking about how I need to rest to be able to deal with my toddler and go back to work on Monday without feeling like I need another weekend. I'm torn on what to do so I need you guys to help me decide

Avatar

18

Weaning

Hello mamas,could I get some advice please with how and what to wean as started this week with my baby but not really what to give and when what time day. Have started with puree vegetables and making them myself and offering it in the evening to my baby but she tends to get irritated and tired and has a few spoonfulls and then gives up and has a meltdown. So I’m questioning myself am I feeding her wrong time of day and what’s best to mix the food with milk or baby rice please.

Avatar

5

Baby Food Maker

What’s everyone’s thoughts on a baby food maker? I’m looking to get Baby Breeza or Grownsy. Thoughts? What does everyone like?

Avatar

1

6

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Avatar

1

5

Do I need to pay anything when my child starts school in September

I'm a new mum and obviously didn't grow up in the uk. I currently pay roughly £640 for nursery fees. I'm wondering if my expenses will reduce when my LO starts school or there'll be other expenses (besides bags, uniform etc) will my expenses be anywhere close to £600 monthly?

Avatar

7

Read more on Peanut