Advice

My partner just spoke to me, he doesn’t want me to go out the house on the 3 days a week he works from home, (when I would normally go and see a member of my family or something) because baby isn’t here on his lunch break and he says he doesn’t see her enough in the evening but he chooses to go to boxing classes and gym and football every evening and then when he comes in he just plays fifa anyway
I always have dinner ready for him on the table in the evening I do every single bit of cleaning he doesn’t clean one thing and I do the foodshop on my own and look after baby all week and on the weekends too, he sits and plays fifa with his cousins all weekend doing weekend league or he cleans his car with his brother, my break was going to see my family a few times a week and now I’m being told I can’t, what am I supposed to do sit and look at the living room all day every day, I’m so fed up I’ve just had to leave the room for 5 mins to just break down and cry, I just feel like at the moment I can’t please anyone, I’m exhausted I didn’t even get to wash my hair for nearly 2 weeks because I wouldn’t have been able to dry it after because I’m doing everything but this what he’s just spoke about to me now has just topped it off. And the 2 days he is in the office throughout the week Is when I do the house cleaning so it doesn’t disturb his work.

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You actually do please him already enough. You go whenever you like to. You are not his little toy to decide when you can go or not. Especially if he makes no effort AT ALL to integrate his own family.
Sounds like a very immature men...
Don't let him threat you badly

Oh darling please don't let him control your life this way. He's not compromising and honestly, what can he do if you leave the house once in a while? If you wanna do it, do it.

Nobody has the right to tell you what you can and can’t do. Coercive control is abuse. You and your baby deserve better! 💕 I’d be telling him exactly where to go!

He cannot control you, he doesn’t own you! Tell him how you feel. If he wants to spend more time with his baby HE needs to put the effort in.. get off the games console, and work his hobbies around seeing her. You are entitled to just as much of a life as he is. He already sounds like he’s got it easy with you doing everything. Why can’t he do the food shopping or some cleaning? Stand up for yourself girl, you deserve better!

You need to tell him exactly how you feel in a calm manner. Write down your points and be specific on what that means for you. Be gentle in your approach and say you feel you already sacrifice a lot of time to yourself and with family - express that you need your down time too. Hope you find a solution and that if you do decide to speak to him about it, that he understands x

No way - that’s an
Unacceptable request. Tell him you need to come to a compromise or you will be forced to continue with your usual routine…that is way too controlling.

I'd highly recommend seeing a psychotherapist to get support you really need! I'm in a similar situation and a first-time mom with 3 month-old baby. It's a lot, you are doing so much, your body is a miracle, and you are supposed to be respected and have all the support you need! My Ob recommended Achieve Wellness, LLC and it has been a huge help for me. They have Telehealth option too. You just need your phone to have a video call with your therapist, this is awesome!

You really need to stand up for yourself and stop crying. My man is 18 years older than I am ( just saying this cause he sometimes thinks am his child) and he tries to control me all the time, I learnt early on not to let him have a chance. Stand up for yourself and put your point forward also try to ask people around what their reaction would be and show him that way he will see how ridiculous his requests are.

As a woman, if your magic is unappreciated take your magic away. Once he sees he cannot manage it alone, his tone will change with you. A conversation with him isn’t going to fix this, his mind is made up. Stop with all the “work” for someone who could actually tell you as a human being where you can and can’t go. Go see your family when you need to, he hasn’t pushed enough babies out to control what keeps you sane.

Sending you love and strength

You could tell him your willing to consider one day a week however he needs to compromise to at the weekends first. Can you still see your family in the morning and he has a late lunch or in the afternoon? It does seem very controlling though but maybe he really is oblivious.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do