Partner issues

Does anyone else have a boy and your partner just doesn’t have the same mindset in how you want to raise them? He constantly says boys showing emotion or crying is pussy / batty boy behaviour (aware this is very offensive) he’s said it even as a newborn and I just can’t get my head around it because babies communicate by crying, of course they will cry when they can’t speak! Anyway, today my baby gave me a cuddle and I said aww this is just like bed time, he always comes over to me for a cuddle while I’m changing him and my partner said oh don’t be cuddling him he’s going to be soft. I’m sorry but he’s not even 1 years old and he loves his mum, of course I’m going to cuddle him and let him know I’m safe, he is loved and I’ll always be here. What is wrong with that? 🙄… I don’t really know how to deal with this, his dad thinks any type of emotion is stupid and not manly. I’m worried about when he grows older and this comments might affect his emotions and expressing them. I think you can also see the lack of affection towards me because of this mindset 😂

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There’s nothing wrong with you being loving to your child. Your partner sounds like he desperately needs therapy. He will definitely cause problems for the baby/his relationship with baby if he continues to show a lack of empathy or emotional intelligence.

I’ve said that many times but he won’t listen and won’t change😅. I think he had a lack of affection and strong family support / love so clearly he thinks being cold and hard is the way to be. I have a massive loving family so very much the opposite

Your job is to love the boy in him. Your husbands job is to make the man in him. You should voice your concerns to your husband about how he's talking to such a young child.

But you two are always going to have different roles and mindsets because you each have different jobs

I have many times and that is his view, he believes that is right. I personally don’t want my son to grow up like his dad

Yikes. This is just me, but I'd leave his ass. That's some scary role modeling for your son. He's gonna raise a psychopath

I am so sorry to hear that girl and I feel you! Try suggesting some books he can read?? Some YouTube videos that could change his perspective a little? And if still nothing changes, give him an ultimatum that you won’t put up with this behavior.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.