My mum has watched my kids on various occasions and I’m okay with her putting them to bed etc but for some reason I have HUGE trust issues when it comes to my in laws watching my kids I’ve even cancelled things when they are visiting so I don’t have to ask them to babysit, I’m not entirely sure why I guess it’s because they live abroad and I don’t know them that well I just know their parenting style is very different to mine (practising CIO saying things such as ‘if you don’t do this grandma will cry and be sad waa waa’) and I can trust that my mum will do as I say when it comes to what to do for bedtime food etc with the kids.
So my question is do you think it’s necessary for my kids to spend alone time in order to connect with their grandparents or is them spending time with them with us present good enough?
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Learn more about our guidelines.I agree! I’ll always encourage them to enjoy time together when they are visiting I don’t ever hover or try to interfere when they are playing with the kids etc it’s just them being left alone to babysit in the night that I have a problem with. If they were to babysit during the day I’d be fine, it could be because both of my children are under 3 so still very little and it’s something I’ll get used to

I don't think there's any harm in avoiding it until they're a bit older. I certainly wouldn't have my kids overnight with people who might do CIO with them x

Nope. And any adult who insists that they "need" to be alone with my child will only earn themselves a one-way ticket to NEVER being alone with her. My in-laws aren't allowed alone with my daughter, for various reasons. I am more than happy for them to come visit US, or for US to go visit them...but then being left alone with her is going to take some self-reflection and work that they are not willing to put in.