Quiero llorar...

Hola a todas, mi problema es el siguiente yo tengo TLP (Trastorno Límite de la Personalidad) mi vida siempre ha sido un caos en la cuestión social o amorosa pero hace 4 años que conocí a un chico (que ahora es padre de mi único hijo) y al principio la relación se llevaba bien, pero cuando tuve a mi bebé (ósea hace 3 años) empezamos a tener muchas discusiones, problemas de confianza, celos e infidelidades (por parte de ambos y sólo eran mensajes sin tener contacto físico, él incluso estaba en un grupo de telegram que era para enviar packs y tener un encuentro casual dentro de la ciudad). Por acuerdo mutuo decidimos dejar las cosas en el pasado y seguir la relación por el bien de nuestro único hijo, sin embargo yo he notado que él se ha distanciado cada vez más de mí, ya sea porque tiene su hobbie de arreglar su carro y salir de vez en cuando con sus amigos. Hace dos días traté de acercarme a él en el tema de los carros pero me negó hacerlo incluso me puso pretextos como: "es que a tí no te gusta y te vas a aburrir", pero cabe aclarar que mi esposo si se va a llevar una amiga a ver a los carros ya que a ella si le gusta todo esté tema.
Ahí comprendí que ya no me quería para futuros planes, obviamente discutimos y ayer me dijo que estaba harto de mí, que se arrepiente de haberme conocido y que si pudiera cambiar algo del pasado sería en conocerme, claro está que me dolió mucho porque incluso me dijo que por eso mis amigos se iban de mi lado por mi pésima actitud.
Hoy en día ya no nos hablamos ni nos vemos, ya dí por muerta la relación y realmente ya no me nace rescatarla o pedir perdón. Decidí mejor dejarlo en paz y separarme de él por las buenas, he pensado regresarme a la casa de mi madre mientras me estabilizo, empiece a trabajar de nuevo y sacar a delante mi niño y mi carrera universitaria.
No sé si estoy haciendo bien o no las cosas pero yo ya me siento acabada no por terminar la relación si no porque no quiero que mi hijo se ponga triste con está situación que sé que sí pasará pero no quiero que sufra como yo lo sufrí de niña.

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Tu felicidad también es importante, que tu hijo te vea bien, también le hará bien a él. Sé que decir es más fácil que actuar...

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Te abrazo, es muy difícil pero tampoco es sano que tu bebé vea que entre ustedes hay problemas o discusiones creo que lo mejor es que si se separan lo hagan en buenas condiciones más que nada por tu bebito

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Hiciste bien! No se tiene que estar con una persona por los hijos al final van a ser papás de tu hijo toda la vida, mejor ahora antes de que tu hijo crezca viéndote triste.
Sácale provecho a esta situación y dale ese amor que estabas desperdiciando en tu pareja a tu hijo. Ánimo

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Créeme hiciste muy bien en tomar esa decisión, viví algo similar con el papá de mis hijas y creme di oportunidades asta el cansancio con tal de no ver a mis hijas mal por no tener a su papá serca pero créeme la situación no mejoro (yo también tengo tlp) y apesar de los medicamentos me la pase tan mal tratando de arreglar algo que ya no tenia arreglo que tenia episodios cada vez peores y al final ni funcionó y solo quedé con la imagen de que fue mi culpa que la relación terminará por la reacción que tuve ,ahora llevo 7 meses que no se nada de el empese el contacto 0 y lo respete apesar de sus intentos por "recuperarme" y créeme es mucho mejor tener esta paz emocional y mental en vez de estar cargando con el peso de lidiar con alguien que no quiere ya nada contigo pero no está dispuesto a dar el paso de dejarte ,se fuerte y usa a tus hijos como ancla para tener fuerza para lo que se viene

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Y el sigue siendo responsable de su niño? Independiente de que no quiera una relación contigo sigue siendo el padre del niño y esa es su responsabilidad, explícale a tu hijo conforme a su edad que tú y su papá no están juntos porque simplemente hay veces que los adultos ya no tienen los mismos intereses y deciden separarse para no discutir, él entenderá con el tiempo y mientras tanto tu enfócate en aprender de los errores del pasado, regenerarte y empoderarte por ti y tu niño

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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21

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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25

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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8

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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15

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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28

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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