Drained -

I try to do everything for my step daughter to feel welcome . From making all her favorite meals , getting her fav clothes , to legitimately trying to build a 1:1 relationship with her . She shows no appreciation and is … entitled . I try to show her or teach her things like cooking & baking . Showing interest in things that she likes but I just get no where . It seems that she only wants to come over when she wants/needs something. Any other time we’re just chopped liver . I sacrifice so much for her that I’ve poured so much energy to try and make her feel welcome that it’s so draining . It comes to the point where I’m just excited for when she goes back home so I can live my life again . I hate to admit that I really do . I pray every night for patience and thicker skin to be there for her and love her unconditionally. It’s so tiring living this thankless job .

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Same here. 2 step sons and I HATE when they don't go to their mom's. I need my break from those spoiled, entitled, a holes.

Stop. Stop doing everything. Please, for your own sanity. When she comes over it shouldn’t be showering her with everything she wants, she’s coming to bond. But it’s not all about her. When she’s there try to go about things as if she isn’t there, of course be cordial, but don’t do the most. That’s how a lot of step moms burn out! Trying to be everything to everybody but themselves. Try to create a balance, you can love her without draining yourself.

Yea I’m slowly just like pulling away for my own sanity and it’s making me so sad . I wish I could pour into her the same way I do my own child and it’s just not possible. I feel like I have to constantly say “I did this for you or I did that” or I’m constantly preaching to show my efforts and it’s honestly not who I am . Then I feel bad because I know she’s learning but in a not disrespectful way.. she’s a lot like her a mom who thinks everything should just be given to her which is another disconnect I feel like the family has . Setting those boundaries is making her resent us

I don’t disagree with everyone saying to take a step back, but also want to commend what you’ve been doing, which is show up consistently and lovingly for this young person. I’m in a similar situation with my stepdaughter and though we’re not as close as we used to be, I always make sure to greet her with a smile keep her favorite foods on the menu rotation, and ask questions about her life; even if that’s all our relationship is right now. I think when these kids look back as adults, they will see all the small gestures and realize that they were loved

I just set new rules in my home with the kids and grandmother… I will not be used like I have been for the past 3 yrs…. Step back and don’t feel bad about

in our community

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments

Just need a vent

My MIL currently lives with us; as well as my SIL, her husband, and her 2 severely autistic children. My boyfriend has been redoing a house for their family to move into while he has been on paternity leave. All that is left is the electric and plumbing brought up to code. Which he doesn’t know how to do but my MIL family does for a living. He goes back to work starting Monday. My MIL decided that instead of helping with the electric and calling her family to come out and start on it, that she was going to go visit her oldest son and family that live 2 hours away. Which would have been fine if they hadn’t just gotten over the flu. Literally the day she goes to visit, she messaged my SIL and says that 2 of the kids are sick again. So she ends up staying up there for a week until the kids “get over it”. She’s been back since Tuesday and started saying yesterday that she doesn’t feel good. After trying multiple times to hold my 2 month old daughter, standing over me while I’m trying to take care of my daughter when crying, and coughing near my daughter. At 4am this morning when I woke up for a night feed, I felt like crap. My stomach has been hurting so bad that it made me feel nauseous. And I’ve (tmi) diarrhea all day so far. If she did bring something in, I now have to try and not give it to my newborn and take care of her sick at the same time. I’m just beyond pissed that she didn’t think of the baby before going there and coming back after being around sick kids. She also didn’t even try to quarantine herself from us and the baby.