Husbands female coworker

Get to know her. If she wants to be friends with him, she needs to be friends with you too

In a hypothetical world, I wish you could find a hot young guy to be “office friends” with :) innocently, of course. With selfies on your phone.
Whilst that might seem immature, sometimes it’s the only way for a lightbulb moment, in said husband’s mind, to switch on and realise what it feels like. I’m all for friends. But there’s a line where it becomes a little too chummy.

Also the above could work. But you’d have to want to be friends with her, otherwise she’s just getting increasingly invested in your lives, and I don’t see how that benefits you, unless you want that.

That’s inappropriate and something smells fishy.

She doesn’t need to be friends with him in my opinion and vice versa. It’s inappropriate for sure.

This is not ok but everyone’s relationship is different whatever you’re not comfortable with it needs to be addressed and if it’s not respected then you know what you need to do . Hes deleting things which is already not ok he is hiding stuff something tells me this is not going to be pretty . He def crossed boundaries

All good advice so far ⬆️

I can understand you’re feeling this way but getting to know her might even make you feel worse, as unless you like her… it’ll probably backfire imo.

Are you invited to the work Xmas party? What kind of work do they both do? This might help us with a little more context.

Either way though, if you explain to your husband that it makes you feel uncomfortable, the level of additional social interaction etc .. how would he feel if the tables were turned. How do you think he’d react ?

Not sure about this deleting messages stuff tho.. that’s suss.

Okay now ask him is it okay to have a male bestfriend that you grow close with . Men tend to do things selfishly without thinking how it makes others feel . It's not insecure if you don't want your husband to have a female bestfriend . At this point in life why is a grown man still becoming close friends . You really have to watch people these days honestly . You don't know her at all . I wouldn't get to know her it would be complete shut down .

But does she know of you? Is she aware this is a married man? And also is he aware that he’s a MARRIED man? Because if my husband were to have this sort of relationship, I wouldn’t give him the time to even begin to explain himself. That’s crossing a boundary and maybe boundaries need to be re-established. Openly admitting to you that he finds her attractive??? 🤡🤡 and the whole “to test portrait mode” is a load of BS. It’s 2023, portrait mode has been around a few years. Sit him down and set him straight. Either he starts thinking with the head on his head (& not the one between his legs) or he gets out. That’s just my opinion. Totally understandable for you to feel uneasy.

Uh okay as a young woman (started my career at 23 im 27 now) in an office with mostly older people (40+). I have had plenty of mentors and peers who I'm chummy with no alterior motive. I've had personal convos about kids, parents, childhoods, hobbies....before I got married and had my daughter I got A LOT of personal advice 😅 if it's her first work Christmas party I would also be asking 'uhh what r u wearing to this'. Most office dynamics are just light roasting each other and over sharing personal stuff (watch the office lol).

Not to say you're wrong for communicating your discomfort but I wouldn't leap to assuming she wants your man lol

His behaviour at work is inappropriate. Plain and simple. Even if it wasn’t inappropriate, you’ve voiced your concerns to him, and he should take those seriously. Does his coworker know he is married?

Please say something about how you feel. I didn't and I ended up kicking myself most days.🫠 As uncomfortable as it feels please gather all your might and put your foot down xxx good luck!