Am I wrong to ask my in laws/ family members not to kiss my babies.

For my first child , when she was born in 2021 still covid going around, we asked family members to not kiss the baby. This included face hands feet. My parents and inlaws were kind of upset and said things like “how am I not supposed to kiss my grandchild” she wont know I love her if i dont. etc. and I explained my reasons and emphasized it is covid flu rsv season. We dont want them kissing her and if they cant resist and respect our wishes they shouldnt hold her. They all understood were I was coming from and accepted it .

My MIL and FIL ended up disrespecting our wishes as soon as they held her and got offended when I asked for my baby back. And didnt let them hold her after that.

Now we are expecting baby #2 and my In Laws brought up how at least this baby wont be born during flu season since we are due in spring time. Hubby and I both said yeah but we still expect everyone not to kiss the baby. And then we had to hear them complain about it “ how can they not kiss a new grand baby” “ maybe we shouldn’t have them around until they can “ “ im being overprotective/controlling” “ Covid is over” .

I dont feel in the wrong. I mentioned the facts as to why I dont want them kissing but I feel I shouldn’t have to explain myself or reasons for not wanting them to kiss a newborn baby.

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You’re not wrong. It doesn’t matter what your rules are it’s your child and those are the boundaries you have set and they need to respect them. They can still hold the baby and give both big hugs and tell them they love them without kisses. Parents need to be overprotective sometimes and colds and flus with newborns is one of those times.

You can never be wrong for protecting your child no doubt about it no questions! It’s your baby nobody should put lips on your babies beside mom,dad,& rest of your children

The entitlement kills me! You are not wrong sis!!! YOUR BABY. Period.
You shouldn’t have to explain yourself. Good luck ❤️

I have your husband and send them the links, and the videos about OB/GYN’s talking about this. You are in the right.

I hear you and agree with every response. It’s your baby you set your boundaries and stick to them fly season or not they shouldn’t be kissing face lips hands feet. It’s hard but as she is a mother her self you would expect her to get where you’re coming from but I think there’s a generational gap of what used to be accepted back in the day.

Just explain again and say you wouldn’t want to make them sick. Something so small for us is harder for a newborn to fight with little to no immune system yet flu season or not.

If they don’t wanna be around until they can kiss the baby sounds like easier life for you and their loss.

You decided and they should respect that. Good luck and congratulations x

Thank you ladies❤️ it will be honestly easier without them, but I hope they can grow up and respect our boundaries

It’s fairly common for the older generation to find this a bit strange… be patient with them! No doubt we will find what our kids do as parents strange as well and might struggle to see that their way is right

i’ve started discussing kissing with my husband and mom. husband says grandmas should be able to do whatever they want. my mom was understanding and will follow any rule i want, which would probably be to not kiss baby. im sure its going to be a debate, not looking forward to that. its awkward

You are not in the wrong because you dont know what they have

you’re not wrong at all, you’re protecting your child’s health. my baby is 5 months old, & my in laws still don’t kiss him. if they can’t respect your wishes and protect the babies health then they shouldn’t be around.

You’re not wrong. Multiple nurses and doctors have told us this is THE WORST year they’ve ever seen for RSV and flu in infants.

You can show those family members the facts, the cost of a two to three week hospital stay, and testimonies of people whose babies have died. It’s not worth the risk…

I know my own father is going to fuss about this rule, but I’m not having it.

You are definitely not in the wrong I got a lot of push back on this from my MIL so I then sent her videos of babies with RSV and said that if she wishes her grand daughter to end up very poorly and potentially in hospital all because she feels that she must kiss the baby then she should be happy with having not contact with us

Definitely not wrong. I’m requesting that anyone wanting to hold baby wear a mask and be up to date on vaccines. It’s their choice.

Your baby, your rules. If they don’t like it, constantly complain or can’t respect your wishes then they shouldn’t come around.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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Did anyone else baby have a hard time with textures when it pertains to solids. My son is 9 months and he still only eats the food that is mashed or puree. Do you think this is a phase? Or does anyone have any tips?

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?