Am I wrong for this?
So last week I had my mom and younger siblings come over to my place to spend some quality time. I live with my significant other and SIL rents a room from us. While they were here, my stepfather took it upon himself to drive over to my place and parked himself in front yelling like a madman over some money he had let my mom borrow. Usually I don’t step into their issues but I overheard him saying something along the lines of “tell your daughter to pay up the money you owe me” which I found extremely disturbing because we have a pretty okay relationship and if the situation was that bad he could’ve had a simple conversation with me about it. I snapped after hearing those words and threatened to call the police if he continued yelling like a crazy person outside my house!
So my partner ended up finding out about this because SIL spilled all the beans from what she had overheard that night. I had to tell him everything so now he doesn’t feel comfortable with bringing our daughter over to my mom’s place because my stepfather also lives there and they have drama going on ALL THE TIME. It’s nothing against my mom but she also badmouths my stepdad 25/8 to everyone including my partner so he was already feeling weird going over my mom’s place for a long time now.
So, my question is am I wrong for agreeing with my partner on not bringing LO over until things are resolved? I’m not trying to take her away from anyone (which is how my mom is seeing things), but I don’t understand how you can speak so badly about someone and still expect people to not feel a way towards them or act like everything is cool! And yes my stepdad has done stupid/crazy things but I just felt it was my last straw when they brought this on my doorstep.
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I dont think you are wrong. You all are making a decision to keep your LO away from the drama and i have done the same. Hopefully your mom will understand after things cool down.
Your child's safety and well being comes before anything else, so if you are not comfortable there, that's just too bad for them. His actions have repercussions, and while that may not be your mom's fault, it is her choice to be with him and to entertain this instability. In your situation, I would allow my mom to visit at our house, but stepdad should probably stay home until you get an apology and see changed behavior. You are not keeping her from her grandmother, not that grandparents actually have rights to your kids anyway, it is just that she will have to be the one to make the effort. Especially because it has made your partner uncomfortable (it's one thing to put up with crap from our own families, but it's another to ask our significant others to do the same), a break seems necessary. Don't ever feel guilty for establishing healthy boundaries and standing up for yourself, your child, or your relationship. Be very clear with mom about that so doesn't have room to manipulate u and she can see yr side.
you’re not wrong and neither is your husband for feeling that way. your child’s wellbeing and safety is always above anyones feelings.
Yes ! You’re so right! My significant other doesn’t have to deal with my family’s bs. I know if I had told him I felt uncomfortable about a situation he would completely respect that and have my back so I don’t mind doing the same. At the end of the day it’s for my our own daughters sake.
It's great that you and your spouse are on the same page for sure.
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