Am I in the wrong?

No.. pick up that baby. You are totally right ❤️ we don't let our little boy cry alone ever. It's natural they want to be with you.

Ask your partner to help instead of grumbling. Babies don’t cry for no reason. Maybe he’s gassy or winded or needs comfort. Would your partner like it if you ignored his needs?

Babies have no other way to communicate other than crying. With cry it out, they don’t just eventually think, “gee, I’m being illogical, why am I crying? I’ll stop.” They give up. Because no one is coming to comfort them. How devastating must that be for a baby to realise the two people who are supposed to love them most aren’t there for them when they need it the most? You hold that baby as much as you want. Maybe the solution is he picks him up for a while to give you a break

Babies crying is their way of communicating to us, they can't tell us with words what they want/need just yet. I wouldn't leave the baby, I'd pick baby up for sure, they need us, they need us for everything, for all of their needs.

What I do when my arms are aching someis lay him on the sofa next to me . Lay him on a soft blanket and make a bit of a nest round him so he feels something around him and rock him gently with my hand. Something like this may help save your arms and back a bit.

Have you tried putting him in a sling so you save your arms?

I second all that has been said. You can't spoil a baby by loving them and seeing to their needs. Xx

My little boy is the same 🙈 I always feel torn people always make comments when I pick him up and say I’m creating a rod for my own back 😩 but i don’t want to leave him to be upset and cry

My health visitor said to never leave them to cry as it effects part of their brain
I don't know how true it is, she mentioned a study completed in Romanian orphanages
I totally empathize with the back and shoulder pain

my inlaws made endless comments over Christmas that I never put the baby down and I need to stop doing contact naps all the time. They went out and bought a bouncer chair so I’d put her down occasionally. She hates it.

I mean we do contact naps and hold him whenever he needs something or wants comfort but surely it’s too much if you can’t even put her in a bouncer? Too much of either isn’t good. You don’t want your baby having separation anxiety , that comes with it’s own mental challenges 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

she’s 3 months old. It’s completely normal for a baby to want to be near their mum. She sleeps in her own cot through the night from 10pm to 7am. She is completely fine. And holding her during the day is not going to give her separation anxiety. It’s going to give her a healthy attachment and let her know that she can rely on me. It will tell her I am here when she needs me and help her feel confident within herself. I have done extensive research in infant development. But thanks.

that was an extremely defensive response to me saying if you can’t put her in a bouncer it may be too much. Simply put, you can say she does spend time out of your arms because the way you wrote the first statement sounded unhealthy (‘put her down occasionally’ were your words, not mine) and on a post for advice, I’ve given you some. We don’t let our baby sleep in their own cot for 9 hours , we find it’s too much , and like I said; we contact nap and have cuddles all day long. Just so you’re aware, separation anxiety can begin from as early as 4 months 🩵🩵

it absolutely was defensive yes. Particularly because I wasn’t asking for advice and suggesting I’m giving my daughter mental health issues all because I comfort her is ridiculous. Did you ask if I put her down in other places? No. She didn’t like the chair. But she loves tummy time, her play mat, her swing and her cot. I was talking about the chair in relation to the story at Christmas. You jumped to a conclusion. It’s perfectly normal as well for a baby to sleep through the night from 3 months. She’s always been a brilliant sleeper. No issue if it’s too much to you for whatever reason but there’s nothing wrong with it.

Deffo pick your baby up they are still so litttle. It’s all new to them this world.

Thanks everyone. This has made me feel so much better and that I'm doing what feels right for me. I do feel maybe men don't fully understand compared to us ladies.

He's 11 weeks today and not sure if he is in discomfort or just wanting held. I feel like I will never regret holding him too much but I would definitely regret letting him cry to the point he is inconsolable or feels I'm not there for him.

I'm just going to keep doing what feels right and, yes, probably get a sling or something to help with my arm!

Thanks mummas!