Boyfriend called me dumb and stupid, now won’t apologize and insists he’s right

My boyfriend called me dumb and stupid a day ago because my hands were full walking from the car and when I tried to also balance my son (3 years old) in my other arm I must’ve bumped back into my boyfriend, causing him to spill his drink on his white shoes. We got inside and he raised his voice saying I ruined his new shoes and that I’m dumb for not listening to him about leaving stuff in the car.

I told him not to call me those names and don’t raise your voice especially in front of my son, he refused to listen and I got the silent treatment for a few hours. Today I tried to tell him how what he said hurt my feelings, and I apologized for ruining his shoes, but his reaction was not okay. He said if I bought him new shoes that he would apologize. He said that I do dumb stuff all the time and that it’s getting annoying and he won’t talk about this anymore.

Since this conversation he is now ignoring me and it’s making me feel like I did something wrong. I apologized and I only wanted him to know I’m not okay with being yelled at and called names. How am I supposed to handle this situation?

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Name-calling is a form of verbal abuse. You are in an abusive relationship. These type of men rarely ever change. As the lady above said - it’s time to leave.

Also what he’s doing with silent treatment is called stonewalling and again, the people who do this often are fucked at their core due to childhood trauma and inflict this on others. He’s unlikely to ever change his behaviour so think about your child and how it will affect him. Growing up hearing him call you vile names and being given the silent treatment for when he does normal kid behaviour. Your child will be mentally scarred.

If you had an accident which caused him to ruin his shoes, it’s called a fucking ACCIDENT. His response to what you did was uncalled for and ridiculous. You certainly don’t need to buy him new shoes 🤦🏽‍♀️ Stop apologising and focus on making a plan to get out.

Yeah, nah, goodbye. Already have one 3 year old on your hands.

I would figure out a way to leave. And tell him or leave a note and tell him the only dumb thing you did was waste time on a relationship with him. Because you can do better! And shoes can be cleaned, or replaced like he should be.

Leave

There’s only one answer, and you know that.

I know, I just needed to read everyone’s thoughts 🥲😂

Lol I feel you girl! Do what’s best for you guys because he won’t change and there are soo many other fish in the sea! ✨

I only read the headline. Leave

Wow big big red flags big!!!!!!!

somehow he’s 35 😩

What he’s doing is not okay. Firstly, accidents happen - you don’t tear your partner a new one over a bit of spilled drink on a damn shoe.

Second, he should never EVER be calling his partner names, especially in front of his child.

And thirdly, freezing you out, refusing to accept an apology and basically being a massive dick over a pair of shoes is just downright childish. He needs to grow the fuck up.

I suggest giving him some time and space to reconsider his behaviour. For example, a motel room or on a friend’s couch.

fortunately we don’t live together and my son isn’t his child, but they’re so attached to eachother it makes it harder

Omg he isn't even your child's father, if you don't end this you're as dumb as he is

Quit apologizing to this goof. He sounds like a dick. I’d suggest peacing out while you can. You’re too amazing to be with someone like that.

in our community

Bestie where are you?!

Hey I really need to make some friends being a mom is so lonely. Distance does not matter to me (I can’t see waves)

If you DO NOT buy things second hand, it is mainly because:

Answer only if it applies to you.

Love my husband. Love my kids. But…

I’m 32 weeks pregnant with twins. I take care of my 4 yo, 2 yo, and 1 yo. I barely have energy to stand anymore. I cuddle and watch movies with my kids all day at this point. My husband is less pushy in this pregnancy in wanting to be touched or love up on me. But I feel more like a tool these days more than ever. He gets frustrated (not to a crazy degree) but I can tell he huffs because he’s probably sexually frustrated from me not wanting to be touched on. (my boobs are super sensitive atm) I love having the babies part, but the pregnancy also now has me feeling like a baby making machine. And a tool with big boobs made for touches and my husbands pleasure. Ofc I love my husband and kids, but with my hormones all wack, it really doesn’t feel the same when you’re not turned on. It’s so hard for me to get turned on. I’m uncomfortable all the time in my own body. Babies moving in there all the time. My children cuddle me all day but get rowdy at the end of the day, so I end up getting touched out and I can get irritable when my husband tries to touch me affectionately. He doesn’t have the tact necessary for me right now, when I wish he wanted to go in for a normal comforting hug I’m let down more often than not, there is almost always a boob groping involved as well. I tried to just let him touch me last night so he could get it out of his system, but he could tell I felt tense. Wish my boobs weren’t such an uncomfortable place for me to be touched. Idk why I’m making this post. Probably just to vent. Wish men were equally as emotionally intelligent as women. Wish I didn’t feel like I still owe him something because he’s picking up a lot of the house load and yet I still need to ask him to do more before these twins arrive. He’s tired every day when he comes home, so he takes a shower sometimes works out, and helps get the kids to bed. So it’s a struggle getting him to help any further than that. Weekends are my only time to get to him. But it’s a struggle to find time on weekends too. I know if he wanted to he would. But there’s just no drive.

Maternity leave Employment rights?

I have 6 weeks left of work and they have completely changed my job spec including my job title and all my responsibilities, they have done this ahead of advertising my maternity cover apparently to fit business needs which I am fine with but i explained as long as it doesn’t effect me before I go. They have now turned round and said they want me to do the training for it before I go and want me to sign a variation in contract asap. Are they allowed to do this? I thought you had the right to come back to the same job within 26 weeks and I haven’t even left yet and they’re changing it? I was going to see what the job was when I got back and go from there but now they’re wanting me to sign this change in contract before I go I don’t know what to do, do I have to sign it ?

I’ve loss it finally

Please help me good or bad advice I need it !!!
Quick rundown had my baby 3 months ago her dad was cheating on me all the way through pregnancy u til 2 months pp . I was depressed and sad along with pnd ! I allowed him to leave my house sleep about and come back I had no fight left in me I was broken emotionless didn’t want to be here . Fact forward to a few days after valentines day a male friend brought me flowers ex didn’t like it called me all the names ect but 4 days later begging me back I tried for our daughter but he’s put his hands on me twice in the month daily name calling body shaming
Then today we was out his friend rang him why we was in the car to say he has 2 girls for them to go link this was on loud speaker ! I lost my shit arguing we got home I seen red n went for him I then got the hammer & smashed his car windows . I know that was wrong but being goaded daily put down n body shamed made me hate him then I just seen red

Is it just me?

I’m 35. I have a 21 month old and i’m 5 months pregnant. I have no friends. Everyone has either drifted away or ghosted me. I don’t know what i’ve done but i’m so lonely now. My best friend of 20 years has ghosted me and i’m heartbroken. I’ve tried to reach out to other friends but never get anywhere. I don’t know how to make new friends. I honestly just feel so alone.