AITA husband’s family holding baby

We’re currently visiting husband’s family in the UK with our seven month old baby. Baby has been such a little champ with the travel (12 hr trip!) and meeting new people, but he of course has a limit and just wants mum and dad sometimes. My husband is pretty relaxed and will just give him to his parents etc and let him cry (sometimes hyperventilating wanting to go with dad again) but it’s starting to stress me out. I’m all for baby hanging out with husband’s family, and I’m almost always there to help and keep him cheerful, but if baby keeps crying in others’ arms I take him for a cuddle (still in the same room). Is this normal? Husband says I should just chill and let baby cry and that he’ll get used to it, but I just want to hold/comfort my baby if he cries. He’s met so many people lately so I just think he needs comfort sometimes which I’m totally fine to give!

I guess I just want reassurance that it’s normal? Keep feeling like my husband and his family think I’m spoiling baby / turning him into a brat. But I feel I’m just working on a secure attachment and making sure he knows I will come to him if he needs me.

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I completely agree with you. You are their safe space so why would you let them cry when you are in the room? They are crying cos they don't feel comfortable or have an unmet need (in this case the need for comfort with you)

I wouldn’t have baby all upset! Even my own mum wouldn’t keep hold of my little one if he wanted me and she sees him all the time

You’re 100% right, some people do take it too far not wanting anyone (especially in laws) touch their babies ever, I think it’s good to let baby be held by other people, help him be relaxed with other people mummy and daddy trust, BUT, a bunch of new people can be a lot for baby, very overwhelming and when baby had enough and is upset and stressed out mum and dad should 100% take him back to calm him down and reassure him
You are doing exactly what you are supposed too and dad should take a minute to remember that babies aren’t just a cute object to pass around, they are human beings with feelings like stress and fear that, as opposed to adults, they don’t know how to handle yet, he need to try and put himself in baby’s skin and realise that right now the both of you are his whole life and everything else is scary

I’d take baby back. I don’t understand why someone would want to hold a crying baby that isn’t theirs 😅💁‍♀️ you clearly aren’t what baby wants, couldn’t think of anything worse haha.

It’s overwhelming to be not only in a new place but also be handed out to different family members. I don’t agree with cry it out methods at ALL. If your baby needs comfort, and only you can give it at that time, then your baby needs you. And your husband and in laws should respect that. Set your boundary firmly

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

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Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding