Tantrums or anger issues?

My kid is 6 years old and can go from 0 to 100 in NO TIME. At church, at Dr's office, store, anywhere and she yells and runs away and nothing can calm her down. I've tried the gentle parenting trying to let her feel he emotions talk her out. I've tried putting her in the shower to relax and yeah out of frustration I've yelled too. But nothing works she just gets more and more mad. Im at the point where i don't want to go anywhere because i don't know when she'll snap. Interesting fact though, at school she doesn't because she says she doesn't want them to see her 😕 so obviously she can control herself or she's happier at school ☹️

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She's masking at school. And the fact that she's able to recognize that is something in itself. By the time she gets home from school, she can't keep it in any longer. Does the doctor have anything to say about it? Are there other behaviors of concern? Interested based on my own experience...

I wouldn't rule out the possibility of meltdown.

@Daniella i do see this a lot when she gets home from school. She also gets like that when hungry or sleepy, she becomes like a baby who can't express her feelings and idk how else to help her. The dr has seen how she gets because she does a whole thing at the Dr's office too when needles are involved but he's only said that he can intervene if they try to hurt themselves or others

I'm willing to do anything to help her navigate her feelings

My first suggested step would be to read up on autism and ADHD. Given she's running away, my bet would be whatever is overloading her is sensory... A meltdown isn't something one can control long term. And as she's masking at school, she's already overloaded when the current situation issue happens, hence the levels. Sadly a meltdown can be quite painful - sometimes physically. So if this is what's going on she's not going to be able to talk it out until calm. And may need to learn the vocab that covers it. Im autistic and have always been a word nerd. I certainly would not have been able to describe the emotional experience of a meltdown at 6. I may have managed at 16...

@Desi wow, autism had crossed my mind but when she said she doesn't wanna be seen at school i ruled it out sometimes we think bi polar but same thing. Definitely something i need to dig deeper into

Have you considered neurodiversity?

Try headphones or noise cancelling ear plugs in public.

@Alea noise doesn't bother her she just gets extremely mad when something bothers her like when her sister purposely or accidentally hit her she'll make a whole thing or if she wants candy before a meal and i don't let her she goes overboard and sometimes wanna leave the house. But only on certain times because she is super sweet and polite when she's in a good mood

Therapy therapy therapy

My daughter is the same way.

When plans change, rules are broken, she is teased... All these lead to what I think is autistic screaming. Getting her Dxed has been a huge hurdle for me. I think I have the resources now though.

detox?

Diagnosed

It can take a year for you to get in.

oh ok

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

BLW Advice!

Did anyone else baby have a hard time with textures when it pertains to solids. My son is 9 months and he still only eats the food that is mashed or puree. Do you think this is a phase? Or does anyone have any tips?

Cheating 😭

I cheated on my partner of 3 years the other day, our baby is nearly 2. I feel completely awful about it. It was not a planned thing, just an in the moment situation. No excuses or justification, it was wrong. He knows exactly what happened and it’s hurt him so bad. I really want to make it work with my partner and he does with me. We’re so young and in our early 20s. I’m just so worried things will go wrong. Has anyone else been able to make a relationship work after infidelity? 😭