Do your partners help with baby’s meals?

Wondering what the norm is and whether I have unrealistic expectations. Our 8 month old daughter is breastfed so I have always done all nights and wakeups. Now we’re on solids too my husband just expects me to do all meals as well, whether during the week, at the weekend or this week when he’s taken a week off work. He’ll take her on a pram walk to get a nap, does bathtimes and at weekends/this week he’ll play with her during the day, but he doesn’t think about her food needs at all and will let her go the entire time he’s looking after her without eating. Since we started weaning at about 6.5 months he’s cooked scrambled egg for us all once when I laid out everything for him and has fed her pouches 3 times when I really nagged. It’s been a source of contention for a while now and it’s now really driving me mad. We’ll be switching parental leave in a month’s time and i’ll still be on nights and morning feeds as well as working so I don’t see why it’s so unreasonable to expect him to help out with breakfast some days in the week (particularly as he usually works from home), and batch cooking and mealtimes at weekends or when he’s off work… please tell me some other partners think about and help with mealtimes??

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My husband shares the food stuff so he works away in the week but then on the weekend he’ll get up early with LO and give him breakfast, one of us gives dinner while the other sorts our dinner out.
You’re not being unreasonable x

My husband ‘shares’ this responsibility with me like all of the other things - nappies, playtime etc. When looking after our daughter, either on his own or with me at the weekend, he runs the routine exactly as I do when I’m with her alone. It’s not unreasonable at all to expect this of your daughter’s father!! Like you say, if he’s alone with her he can’t just leave her without breakfast etc because you’re back at work?
My husband often comes home from work and gives our daughter her tea - don’t get my wrong, he’ll usually ask ‘what’s she having’ incase I’ve planned a meal for her. If I have, he’ll make what I’ve planned or if not and it’s a bit of a ‘wing it’ tea, he’ll sort it all out. He also follows some baby weaning accounts on Instagram to get ideas for when he’s alone!

My partner works nights so the day I do it but every single night he does tea and bath except Fridays as he’s not back in time from picking his daughter up. Weekends he does more than me I’d say tbh. Nothing is ever asked for we both wanted and made a child so we both support each other in every aspect of bringing baby up x

My partner does non of it too, I EBF and do all the cooking and meal prep. I sometimes nip to set up for bed after dinner and ask him to give dessert yoghurt or fruit I often get she didn't want it or I was checking something on my phone I forgot to keep feeding her. She eats it and wants 2nds when I get down. Or if i pop for a run I'll get back she's been the toilet and she's crying he'll go she wants feeding...no she's pooped and she's wet. His parents are staying this weekend so he will be in full daddy mode doing everything but I'll have his dad child to look after who likes waiting on.

My husband helps with meal times when he’s here and if he doesn’t do the feed he will prep/make it. Sometimes as he gets through the door from work he will feed her her tea and do the night time bottle as I’ve done it all day. I do find I do it more even when he’s here the majority of the time but he’ll always at least make it. Id be having a discussion as he needs to pull his finger out definitely not unreasonable it’s the bare minimum to me

I tend to do all the meal planning and most the cooking, he then cleans up after and we eat as a family (also have a toddler so find eating together easier). He would happily cook for our children I just have to say what it is or it would need to be one of the 3 dishes he claims are his specialty 😂
To add I enjoy the cooking most the time as gives me time to switch off and relax

My husband does breakfast for baby and our other child everyday. I usually plan and cook the other meals - sometimes he will feed the baby tea though x

My husband does not think about or prepare meals but he does help feeding her. That too is big because sometimes my LO take a complete hour to finish lunch/dinner and I can use this hour to do other stuff.

Having said that, I also know that when I will resume work and he will be home he will bathe, dress and feed her before leaving her at daycare 😊. But just now since I am on mat leave, majority of the work for the LO falls in my lap!

*by “he will be home “ I meant I will be leaving for work around 5:30 am and he will be starting WFH AT 9:00 am :)

I hate saying that my husband "helps" - no, he just does his share of the parenting!

I find the not giving them food or thinking about food thing odd: what are they going to do when the baby is 5 years old? "Forget" that humans get hungry and need feeding? It's basic parental responsibility.

My husband prepares most of my baby's meals, and it's just naturally fallen that way because I'm still breastfeeding her, and he's been cooking most of our meals since the baby arrived. I think he really enjoys thinking about what foods she might like and her reaction to them!

My partner is an absolutely useless cook, I like doing my food shop during the week day when he's at work so I tend to do the shopping, meal planning and cooking.. Partner then keeps baby entertained while I'm cooking, sets the table, clears any dishes or rubbish while I cook, feeds the dog etc. On the weekend he usually cooks breakfast for us one day. We are doing BLW so baby feeds himself while we eat but if he does need help we both do that as we all sit at the table together, then we take it in turns to clear up after dinner while the other does bathtime. I feel like the work around mealtime is pretty fair, even though he has little to do with the actual meal

Thanks so much everyone this has given me more confidence to open the discussion with him again! daddy mode when his family are here is totally a thing in our household too - I find it bemusing he knows what he should be doing just chooses not to when it’s just the three of us!! Hope your weekend goes well! And Jo you’re so right I shouldn’t really see it as helping - going to try to stand my ground more now!

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?