Cought him cheated on me. Cought them having dinner together. I still love him a lot and want to be together and I guess same as him coz I can feel it. Now the problem is I don't know how to face him anymore. I'm really hurt
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But how can I stop myself thinking about it ? Once I close my eyes , u can't help myself . I can't control myself. 😫 we have been married for 11 years. My pain it's killing me

Leave leave get out and don't look back

You need to feel all that pain. You need to grieve who you were with him and move on. Feel all the pain, go to counseling, and heal. You don't deserve to feel the distrust and anxiety he has caused you and will continue to cause you if you stay. He knew what he was doing, and he knew how it would devastate you.