Navigating single parent?

Its hard because you have to have your daughters best interests at heart but at the same time have your own personal boundaries.

With coming to the house you can make whatever boundary you like. If he's late and it's inconvenient then he misses out. If you meet him out if he's late again he misses out on his time with his daughter.

If hes living with his parent and that doesn't allow for his daughter to be there then that's all on him.

He's letting his daughter down. The only thing you can do is get legal support and the court set up visitation. Not sure what country you're in but in the UK, this is pretty easy to arrange

Mediation!

Could you book something on Saturdays or even just make it time to go to your parents? Then if he does show up fine, if he doesn't it doesn't matter.

I definitely have my daughter’s best interests at heart but there’s only so long I can keep making sacrifices and changing my plans to benefit him. Myself and my little girl have missed out on days out with our friends to stay home and wait for him for him then to not show up or show up half hour before she goes to bed at which point she’s clingy to me and doesn’t want to know him anyway. I want him in her life but at the moment it’s me keeping that relationship between them going. I don’t mind him coming to our house to see our daughter but he’s not putting any effort into finding a place of his own. When he comes to my house he just sits back and watches he doesn’t bother changing nappies/feeding her/cleaning her up after food etc x

Um, this might sound insensitive but this is what a judge/mediator will state. Unless the state or CPS has claimed his parents house as unsafe then it isn’t. You might think it is unsafe for whatever reason but if you haven’t been there is months or he hasn’t told you about anything then you can’t prove it is still unsafe according to laws or regulations. In 21 states 50/50 is the baseline and can start as soon as 6 weeks of age or even sooner if courts are not backed up. Him missing a visitation here or there isn’t the end of the world. He had prior plans that he let you know 6 to 7 days beforehand, a mediator is going to see that as acceptable doesn’t matter when the tickets where bought. If they were purchased while y’all were still together a judge/mediator could have said you already knew about them but now picking/choosing since the relationship ended which won’t look good for you.

Some judges and mediators understand last minute changes happen and if other parent didn’t have the money to take a taxi or ride the bus that can be understandable. Life is expensive.

I am sorry you’re going through this. You sound like a really good mum and want the best for your daughter, by allowing her dad to come to your family home to see her (putting your own feelings about him aside) and arranging all these days out for them so she doesn’t go to his parents which is not safe. It seems like you are doing everything. You are doing all the parenting, making sure your daughter is safe and happy and well looked after and making the effort for her to have a relationship with her dad. He seems to be the one making absolutely no effort. If he wanted to see her he would put her first before anything and make the effort to be the best parent especially when he doesn’t see her all the time!! I think sit down with him and talk it all through let him know how you are feeling and how he keeps disappointing you and little one and that he needs to step up in his role or co-parenting

I had no idea about the event until 9pm the night before I get things happen and things come up but this was booked months in advance which I later found out. We already made agreements when we first split that we would split it 50/50 and if for example it was supposed to be his weekend of having her but he had an event to attend then I would happily have her that weekend for him to go aslong as I know in advance. Quite honestly it would make life much easier for me if I could cut him off completely but I am doing everything I possibly can for him to have a relationship with our daughter. It is not my job to drop plans with friends that I booked for myself and daughter for him to see his daughter just because he didn’t see her the day before due to him prioritising seeing’s his friends. He works and earns a good income. Any decent parent would catch a bus/taxi to see their child if they really wanted infact he knows I would of given money for him to catch the bus if he

if he really needed however on the income he earns he has no bills to pay. If he doesn’t have the money to pay for a bus which is pretty cheap here in the UK then that means he spent all his money over the weekend on alcohol with his friends so again shows he is not prioritising his daughter.

also I was not the one to originally cut the contact with his parents. He was the one who stopped them from being around our daughter for numerous reasons including physical threats towards us. He went back to their home as it was the only place he had. There is no judge on this planet who would make me send my daughter around his parents. It is my job to keep her safe and I would fight that all the way.

You would be surprised what a judge will order. Dont ever say never because I have literally seen judges NATIONWIDE order equal custody to even parents that physically abused their kids