In-Laws feel entitled!

Hello!!

I wanted some input idk if I’m just overreacting but I’ve been upset. So I decided to reach out to you ladies on your input being Indian.

I spent a whole week at my mom’s house with my son after talking to my husband. My husband drives a truck local so he comes home everyday, but once in a while he’ll go a bit further away, where he won’t come home. Normally when he’s gone for a couple of hours, I’ll end up going over to my mother’s, so this whole week he was out so I spent the time at my mother’s house.

I live with my in-laws, and when I got home today, they ask me “ Dil laga si othe” and I replied “Hanji” and my FIL goes “ethe nahi lagda dil tera”? I replied in a joking way “jeh ethe nahi lagda dil fer mein teh kad da challe jana si apne ghare”. Mind you ny younger brother came to drop me back home (my mom’s place is 10 mins away from my in- laws). While putting away my son bags I went to meet my husbands bibi and I said “hello bibi kiwe a Tusi” and gave her a hug, my FIL goes to me “tere gharde a ne baki apne bacha nu Sat Sri Akal balona sikaya tenu nahi sikaya” infront of my brother. I laughed it off and gave him a hug and left.

My brother leaves and I go to my room call my husband and tell him what happens and he’s like it’s ok they just missed you. When I brought up the SSA part he’s like well you should’ve said SSA not hello. Then continues to argue with me that if I’m not home for 10 days that means you go stay at your parents house for 10 days? I replied yes why not? He continues with you don’t want to give my family time Tu fark kardi a!!

Mind you I’m home everyday, all day. I help him in the business. I have no time for myself. We got married 2 years ago. In the two-year timeframe, I’ve only spent two full weeks total at my mom’s. The rest of the time I’m always home with my in-laws.

My in-laws go out every day just to go out and I’m stuck at home the whole week. He doesn’t give me time nor take me out. When I go over to my mother’s I feel like that’s the only time I can relax. Other than that I’m nonstop working and being a mom.

Do you ladies think that once you were married your husband and their in-laws think that you are only entitled to them and not your family?

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Heyy , feel free to message me x

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. It sucks that for us Indian women, once we get married, we're expected to almost cease being a child towards our own family and give our everything to our in laws with no return.
I spend almost 70% of my time at my parents because my in laws live in india so I have freedom to go wherever. But when they come to visit for 4 months in the summer, that number is reduced to only 10%. I hate the restrictive nature of in laws and unfortunately this is a downside of living in joint family!
If I were you, I'd just ignore their comments and do as you please. If matters escalate or your husband disagrees then you need to step up and do a family meeting and ask straight up what's the matter. Lay down all the point on the table and make matters clear. The more you allow people to overstep boundaries, the more they'll walk over you.
I'm so sorry and I completely understand what you're going through. It can feel so claustrophobic at times. DM me if you ever need to chat!

I have similar experiences, its so difficult! Just try to keep busy as much as you can. Sometimes we dont have a choice to move from in laws because our husbands decide its their choice to stay at home.

I work from home also which sometimes makes scenarios worse because Idk if my MIL thinks shes the mum or me. Going home to your parents always will feel amazing. Just try keep yourself busy and ignore the comments they make. I know its hard to but what other way do we have!

Hiya! Feel free to message me! X

Hi feel free to message me if you need to vent.

It takes time to settle in somewhere. Especially if you don’t have the same freedoms you would at your mums. My parents are 400 miles away. I’m expecting my 2nd. I’ve already told hubby I’ll be spending more of this mat leave with my parents as it’s a happier and healthier environment for me and the kids. He is supporting me on this. I was miserable during my first mat leave

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

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Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

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