A little reassurance please

My partner of 3 years and I have been bickering over silly things recently and he gets frustrated if I say anything when he raises matters that he thinks I’ve not done to his standard ie if I haven’t bought a particular grocery it’s due to my lack of organisation and low standards etc. We bickered this week because he said I shouldn’t fold towels on the radiator and asked if I was trained at home. I asked him how he recommends I get multiple towels dry with limited space and he felt I was disrespectful. It’s been almost a week and he’s barely spoken to me and now he’s saying he’s leaving because I’m argumentative and have no standards-that I don’t go to the gym enough and the house isn’t clean enough etc. We have our 20wk scan next week and I can’t even be excited over the pregnancy or life atm because I just feel unwanted and starting to even question if my baby will even like me. Can someone please help me get a little perspective-either help me understand how to improve things in the relationship, or reassurance that I’ll be ok if he stays or goes.

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Let him go! You'll be better off without him pulling you down!. You have a right to challenge what he says and shouldn't be made to feel like you're in the wrong.

Sounds like he wants a maid not a partner and to say about not going to the gym enough is disgusting, he obviously doesn't understand just how draining being pregnant is, plus going to the gym should be your choice not his.

Might not seem like it, but you will certainly be fine without him. X

If this hasn't been going on for the whole 3 years, I would say hold on first as the expectation of a baby frightens some and they start to misbehave in funny ways.

My partner was like that at the beginning of my first pregnancy. We even argued over food! 🙆‍♀️
When I had had it to my hair, I went to a friend and she recommended a relationship/marriage counsellor.
I can tell you that after just 1 session, we both had a brain reset, understood what the issue was and have been doing way better than we started out.
You would be surprised how people hearing about perspectivee of their actions from 3rd party can give them a rethink.

But if this has been a regular thing for the 3 years together, well, sit and really give it a deep thought because we can only say our opinions, we won't be there to share whatever comes oul of any decision.

And let me tell you, your baby would love you, aways. 🤗

In my experience usually this bickering has nothing to do with towels/chores/etc, we as people pick small things to micro communicate over, have a sit down and ask how your partner is feeling and really listen without taking anything personally, you need to know what is the root cause here in order to improve it for eachother moving forward. If there Is something bothering you in the future, try and have the same approach the other way around. If you feel like your not on the same team at the moment, communication can really help, this is just my experience as every relationship is different 😅 Xx

very true. Communication is key here.

It could be he's currently having a hard time at work or even something random that has got nothing to do with you.
But because u are the nearest person who feels it when he reacts, you think it's your fault.

I agree on just having a talk with him. A better first approach than just assuming he has gone "mad" and then let him go when a simple conversation can let everyone understand what's going on.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?