I think my son hates me

It’s normal to feel like that, my daughters 4 months old and I said has she unlike me but see a doctor and explained how you feel he’s probably away from you because he thinks it’s a game and finds it funny end of the day. I understand why you’re not with his dad anymore and make his own decision and I bet he doesn’t hate you Show his mum has done a lot for him and he remember that in the future don’t be too hard on yourself, having a child is hard

You can message me if you like! I’ve had a really bad day and I’m tired but i do want to reply to this just not rn so if you want to chat or whatever you can DM me but I’ll try to come back to it tomorrow too!

I read somewhere that moms deal with all the bad behavior because they feel safe with you. Safe enough to be able to let out all their big emotions with you and yah it sucks but to me it feels a little better knowing that piece of information. I am so sorry you’re struggling right now just remind your self your child doesn’t understand what’s going on or the issues you’ve had with his father plus they see dad as their own being and you an extension of them so they’re always excited about that. I hope things get better for you.

Personally it sounds like you have some things to work through like personal development and would seek some therapy for your traumatic experince.
It can be normal to think your child dislikes you, but you should unpack those emotions with a professional. A child can pick up on moods etc and like you said might feel like your not yourself, he is only a child a may not know how to help you feel better as he is only a child, what children do will make a bit of space to feel safe. Child cry and kick off when their having a hard time, he's not trying to give you a hard time, he's trying to communicate a need. It is frustrating when they keep screaming etc but its good to keep yourself regulated so you can react in a way that your son needs instead of thinking he's kicking off and screaming at me because your sad etc. It's a long road but please seek some help to process some of your experiences. Good luck!

If it makes you feel any better, children connect with their mothers through care more and connect with fathers through playtime more. There is a measurable oxytocin release between the two.

Children are also more comfortable with their mothers, so they will act out/express themselves more often than with others.

My sister’s son literally purposefully peed on her during a diaper change, even though he knows how to use the potty. He also peed on a chair and pooped in a tent just for her attention (even if it is negative attention). Lolol

But, at 15 months, tantrums are super normal and frequent. He’s just trying to navigate his emotions.

He loves you and I’m sure you will see him cuddle up to you when he’s sick or hurt or scared. :)

Ok I’m back!!! But i feel lonely 100% of the time too and “I’m not”. I think a lot of it is trauma from holes others left in you so you feel like something is missing. A lot of it is also society showing that the normal is to be friends with the whole world when in reality having 2 actual real friends is RARE.

I work with children they do typically act better for someone else rather than mom, but some of that is because someone else has activities for your child where at home you may not be setting up an art project which will tire your child out so now they are running around making you pull your hair out. Not saying this is your situation because i don’t know but I’m saying if it sounds similar to you maybe try having activities for your child to do. And eventually they will be able to go and do “stations” on their own if you just set it up they can do it.

Dont feel like you’ve given your child everything and sacrificed everything because you will create feelings of pt1

Pt2
Resentment in both you and your son. As a mother you have to accept that you became a mom so anything you do for your child and give them is OWED TO THE CHILD. A lot of people may disagree but yes you had the child so you have to guide, build and supply their life until they are independent which will be the test for all your hard work. You have to start working through your emotions it’s hard asl especially as a single mom but you have to because it’s vital to the relationship you will have your son. The last thing you would want is for your son to hate you and never speak to you after you did do all you could for him.

If his dad is safe to be around fine. All of this is temporary he may act as though he loves dad more but if what you’re saying happened is the case your son will grow up to understand and love you more. Don’t put your feelings about his dad into your son though. He has his own relationship to form with his dad. You can ofc when he’s MUCH OLDER explain your POV,

Pt3
But the decision will be your sons. And when you say come to you he may think it’s a game. For example my daughter does love her dad but i say she treats him Lik a toy. She doesn’t want to sit with him long but she wants him to chase her or take her to her play area only playful things that she specifically reserves for her dad. Parenting is hard and there’s no rule book but you have to do the best you can. And depression is easy to succumb to