When would you/ did you leave your baby?

Not overnight, just with grandparents or someone else (who isn’t mum or dad) for a few hours?

My husband and his parents keep suggesting we can leave our 5 week old with them for a few hours while we go out. I appreciate the offer and kindness but that makes me feel anxious. It’s not that I don’t trust them, I just feel it’s too soon and can’t explain why really. I don’t even like the idea of anyone else feeding or changing him unless it’s my husband. I’ve left baby with my husband for an hour when I went to the GP and often for 10 mins when I go to the shop on the corner. We do night shifts so obviously I leave him with my husband during the night but really anyone other than my husband makes me feel uncomfortable.

Just curious what other people’s experience of leaving your baby/ thinking about leaving your baby has been like?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I left my first born at 5 days old with my parents for a few hours as it was back when Covid restrictions were in place and he wasn’t allowed to come for us to register his birth (ridiculous!) and I’ve left my twins this time around with my parents when they were around 6 weeks old so we could spend some one on one time with our eldest 🥰 but everyone is different, if you don’t feel comfortable then don’t do it! X

She’s 7 weeks and haven’t yet. I’ve left her with my SIL overnight but in the same house. She offered as I was dying of sleep deprivation, gave me a whole 7 hours bless her!

I started by leaving my mum downstairs with my son for 2 hours while I was upstairs on the phone sorting out my re-mortgage, when he was about 4 weeks old.
But I kept watching them on our security camera 🙈

However it gave me peace of mind to leave him with my mum more. At 8 weeks we left him with her for an hour while we went out for a meal.

But I wouldn’t hesitate to leave him for longer, as long as I’ve pumped & she’s got a bottle as back up.

But my mum is the only person I’d leave him with (apart from my partner obviously).

The more you do it. The easier it is. xx

I haven't left my LO for more than an hour or so. He was with my FIL and MIL while we done something in town but I felt so guilty. My hubby suggested a valentine's meal but he was only 2 weeks old I didn't want to leave him with a family member. He's 7 weeks now and has barely left my sight. Regardless of the person I just haven't felt comfortable leaving him for longer yet but I think that is all personal preference

I had an awful birthing experience and ended up being in hospital for 3 weeks. The constant monitoring through the night kept waking my little one up and it was making her overtired so my partner took her home every night to give her and me some rest but eventually that took its toll on him and my mam offered to have her for a night to give him a break too. She’s now 7 weeks old and she stays with my mam once a week to give me a night where I can just sleep. It’s personal preference but I definitely wouldn’t worry too much about it, although baby needs you they always will it’s also good to let someone you trust have them even if it’s just for an hour or so and then they won’t be overly clingy when it comes to the time where you have to leave them for returning to work, etc. that being said it’s completely up to you, I probably wouldn’t have done it so early if it wasn’t for the experience I’ve had as I always said during pregnancy it would be at least 6 months and not a day sooner.

We ended up leaving our baby with my in-laws in the first week - we thought my c section scar was coming open and had to go to the ward so they came round and watched her while we went to get checked

I haven’t yet at 6 weeks. I just don’t trust anyone else with her 🤷‍♀️ we don’t have a village, both sets of parents believe babies are manipulative and should be left to cry it out, there’s no way in risking it xx

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭