My husbands mother is a narcissist. They have an unsettling codependent relationship and she treats him as her spouse in a very creepy way. She even goes as far as to “accidentally” send him nudes many times and will take her shirt and bra off around him even when he begs her not to and then she just says it’s creepy of him to tell her that it makes him uncomfortable.
In the past he cut her out for a few months when I helped him realized how much she was damaging her with her narcissistic abuse but the codependency always brings him and her back together again as “best friends”. She is slowly killing him with stress and will do whatever she can to keep him low so that he “needs her”.
What can I do? Have any of you experienced a narcissist MIL who has a very strange relationship with your husband? I feel like I am going crazy, and I fear that my daughter will catch on to their weird dynamic when she is old enough to notice things like that and that it could be scarring for her.
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I think your husband needs to go to therapy to learn the true colors of his mother and cut her off for good. But that has to be a decision he makes on his own, but I think therapy might help him get there.

I have a narcissist MIL who my husband feels bad for and therefore cannot completely cut out of his life, but there’s no sexual/incestuous component like your situation. I think if your husband does not set clear boundaries and consequences for MIL crossing those boundaries then you will have serious issues in the future. I would also recommend therapy for your husband regarding his feelings about the whole thing. So sorry you’re dealing with this.

He definitely needs to go to counseling. This is so abusive and I’m so so sorry

She sends him nudes like whhhhaaattttttt, is your husband open to therapy/counselling?

I agree with everyone on therapy, even if he disagrees urge him tell him it’s important for him to talk to someone who can help him truly understand what’s going on here because quite frankly it’s not normal. I never knew my mom was a narcissist until I opened up about it to someone and they told me. This is super disturbing and he needs help you can’t provide.

If he’s not open/resistant to going to therapy by himself, maybe you can get him to go to couples/marriage counseling because YOU’RE having a difficult time dealing with some of the issues around him and his mother’s relationship and you’re hoping that maybe a therapist can help YOU to better understand the situation. 😉 😉 What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him (in THIS situation!) What he doesn’t know about the situation with his mom is most DEFINITELY hurting him!!!

He needs therapy and to cut all ties to her. That’s disgusting and inappropriate.
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