Please tell me I'm not only one

You aren’t. I’m feeling the same way. I was very career focused before baby. Now my focus has changed. I’m not finding I can do both effectively.

I believe it is a myth. I don’t think you can have it all. You might be able to have it all working great for a bit. But eventually your mental health will suffer. And maybe you can pay for help while you focus on other things but then your relationship with kids might suffer. I don’t know. I think it’s all too hard. Especially women are pressured to “have it all” but it all comes at a cost.

You can have it all, just not all at once. I TOTALLY understand how you feel, and no, you're not alone or wrong for thinking that way. It is such a balance, and it is very hard to navigate when it is all coming at you at once.

I think you can have it all but just not at once I think our society puts too much pressure on women to have a family and a massive career simultaneously when I think it would be better to take a break and work part time or not at all while the kids are young and needy and pursue a high powered career after they are more able to care for themselves people aren't dying at 50 so often anymore so I don't think we have to cram every dream we have into the same decade anymore

@Symone I'm exactly the same, I was loving my job...climbing the ladder etc after having my first during covid thought I'd go to uni to stay in the field and hopefully pass and get a better work life balance....damn so far I'm wrong..how you finding it? Do you do anything to help you cope like down time etc

@Jessika you are so right. Its like walking through a sand / snow storm with no glasses

I think there are moments you can have it all, but certainly not all the time. We all have moments where things are just clicking, but it's fleeting.

@Alex 100% I call it trekking through mud in heavy boots. I get up at 4 am to work 12 hours a day as a Freelancer, I teach 6-8 online Zumba classes a week, and I'm writing a book (my dream) and trying to find an agent (my nightmare), all with 2 littles (one on the spectrum with whom I do habilitation). Gurl... it takes strategic planning, strict schedules, and help...lots of help. We really do need a village to raise children, and there is NO SHAME in letting people help you, especially when you are burning out. You got this momma! 💕

@Lara 🙌🏻 I don't teach my kids to hit or bite but they do....don't teach them literally bounce of the walls, to scream blue murder or to have food issues...sensory issues...and soo much more..last time I checked it is there way of communicating to me that something is wrong and their overwhelmed or over stimulated....

Yea kids do learn from us but they are also their own little person with their own quirks and personality

I'm struggling with my 1st (and last) and he's only 1. X x

There's no possible way to have it all, bc everything will eventually cost you something else. That's like saying you can have something for nothing. Everything in this life is going to exact something in return, and it's just not fair to sell women dreams like this.

Hate to say I disagree . It takes alot and you have to sacrifice alot but I think you can have everything you want . Their will always be things that can get in the way and always things that have the ability to hault things but you get back up and keep going. But everyone is different and everyone has different goals x

@Lara 🙌🏻 I agree to a point and think it's really easy to judge when every child especially children wkth additional needs and challenges is different.

As a mother to a son who has additional needs it is extremely hard for him to self regulate and it's taken years of hard work to find ways he can regulate without self harming.

I think I understand what your saying but I think wording was a little brutal x

@Fliss - Zaza indeed... it isn't that easy. Kids just don't comply all the time, especially if something is going on with them. My son is on the spectrum and was nonverbal until 4.5 yo and had HORRIBLE tantrums at home and in public. I wish someone would look at me and say that it is because I let him do it. You don't know what people are going through, and I really wish people would stop acting as if every situation is the same and can be handled the same way. It isn't and can't be.

No one has ever told me I could "have it all" ... whats " it all " supposed to refer to anyway?

@ADMC it is supposed to refer to women having a meaningful career and being mothers at the same time. Not having it all, in my view, means you have to choose between following your career aspirations and being a good mother. Most women believe or are made to believe that you must choose one.

I think we still live in a male dominant society where it's ok for the man to have kids and work . But is it socially deemed acceptable being a mamma and working . Can you do both?? That's how I took this post . As @Jessika said most women believe or feel pushed to choose one but I think its totally possible to have both x

ah, I see.
Not QUITE my idea of "having it all" lol but okay 🤭 I have a full time career and am a full-time mom - sounds more like "doing it all" to me 😅
Jokes aside, I realize I'm lucky to work for an amazing employer and have had the support of loved ones quite consistently througout my journey - I dont think Id be able to "do it all" if I didnt 🥰

@Fliss - Zaza, I agree. It is a lot of work, scheduling, strategic planning, and a support group is helpful, but you can do it.

I do believe you can be a mum and have it all but that incorporates a really supportive understanding and participating partner, and not a huge but a GOOD village behind you. (Quality over quantity) I do believe me and a couple gfs at church “have it all”. But they have really amazing husbands/partners who allow them to also be themselves amongst a wife and mum. Most of these girls I know (that seem to have it all) all have a good handful of gfs, a great partner, a good support system behind them, and outside hobbies. Also myself, I am blessed to have that

@ADMC support is very important. I mean men have the support of their women so they can do it all. We need that too.

As a fellow spicy mama I fully understand how tough this is!
I have 3 spicy’s and husband is spicy 😅
Pm if you ever fancy a chat xx

You can have everything you want.. just not at the same time. 😏

Some of these comments make me so sad. Anything is possible if you want it enough. X