Thinking of leaving my bf/bd
Me and my bd are together and have a 4 month old baby together. I’m so worn down. We had a pretty good relationship before our baby was born. He works a 40 hour work week in an office and doesn’t do any cooking, cleaning or much childcare. I’m a nursing mom, he’s not good at nappy changes. He does hold her whilst I do cooking and cleaning but he counts the time he’s held her to tell me later how much he’s helped. He is bad with money and he does all our finances and everything is paid into his account. When our baby was born he got 1500 in benefits and we didn’t get a penny of it. He gets 700 a month for our family from government benefits and we barely get a penny of that. He is bad at cleaning up after himself and I hate having a dirty house so I clean up his dirty laundry and dirty food about 5 times a day. He is constantly on his laptop and barely looks up to our baby girl when he’s doing something. He expects sex of course, after a day of cooking cleaning childcare and nursing our baby all day I don’t want to do stuff. I’m sore after childbirth and I don’t want another baby. I usually make myself and eventually like it after a couple minutes of stuff. If I left him I could get housing by the government and the 700 a month would go up as it takes into account his salary and it would get paid into my bank account. I brought up leaving a couple weeks ago and he said he didn’t want that and he loves me and our baby girl and hed take his own life if I left. He is a good dad and will hold her and play with her. I don’t know what to do. I’m so worn down. I just want to do the best for my baby girl.
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I don’t care he should still help around the house I left my bd bc he didn’t want anything to do with our babies now we have a court date for child support, but if you don’t wanna be with him don’t be with him. I wouldn’t wanna be with a guy in that situation either. All men should help their gf/wife or what not around the house if he’s so tired then maybe he should cut his hours down and start helping you a little more. He don’t need to work that much you have one baby. I have two with no help and don’t even work that much. Tell him he either starts helping around the house and with the baby or your leaving. You have to just tell him how it is girl!
Saying he would kill himself if you left is definitely a form of emotional abuse. That’s not okay.
I’ve literally just been through exactly the same thing. Except my fiancé used to go out all the time to top it off. I kept asking him to help and he kicked me out as a way of teaching me a lesson of what it really would be like if he didn’t support me. I am now a single mum with a 2 month old. If you ask him to do more and he does then stay. But if you have to keep asking and you realise you feel like a single mum in a relationship then leave. I saw a quote once that said “being unhappy is a good enough reason to leave”. Do what you need for your own peace and take care of yourself because happy mum=happy baby <3
You should leave because being in a relationship like that feels like you’re raising another child, even tho he’s a grown man. It’s not worth it being in the relationship and you’re better off a single mom if he doesn’t contribute. Your baby also needs to see that you’re happy so she can be happy
Idk why this is normal but it’s not acceptable even if he worked 69 hours. You deserve help. Everyone is good at babies with practice and it’s clear he is not practicing. Leave that baby with him and rest. Give him chores and rest. Stop playing girl. By 4 months I was so exhausted I was seeing things from breast feeding every 3 to 4 hours. You deserve help
can I ask what you need to do when getting child support?
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