Vent/AdviceShould I leave my alcoholic BD?

So my bd is an alcoholic..When we first met he was sober but when I was two months pregnant he started drinking again. For the past year he has completely just wreaked havoc on our lives due to his alcoholism. Hes lost his wallet leaving us with no money 4 times. He’s been arrested twice, had the cops called on him 4 times, been in 3 fights (the third was last night and with our neighbors!) during which he dented up my car. And this was after he left to go to the store for more alcohol when I told him not to, lied to me about how much he was drinking and disappeared for two hours just drinking somewhere. These are just the big situations, there have been many others where he wrecks the house, gets loud and aggressive with me, pukes everywhere..Now on the flip side, when he is sober he’s an amazing man and father. We never fight, and he’s also been working hard on not drinking. This was his first big slip up in a month but still, it’s a BIG slip up. And there’s been quite a few of them..I don’t know what to do- I keep giving him chances but I’m tired and fear he really is never going to change. Most importantly I don’t want to drag our baby through his mess. He’s 5 months old now so I’m really hoping my bd can get it together before our baby gets older but I can’t stand the constant chaos and drama. I’m also a little hesitant to leave because he told me the only reason he gets up goes to work and tries to be sober is because of the baby. I’m scared if me and the baby leave his whole life is just going to implode. Ugh what do I dooooo

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Agreed, your first sentence should give you the answer you are looking for. Your children don't need to be raised in an unstable environment with a role model that lacks discipline in his life. If your kids were more important than the alcohol, he would've changed. Now the question for you is, are your kids more important than the alcoholic?

Girl yes.

It is not your responsibility to save his life, your responsibility is now that child.

He should work on himself before he can be in the child’s life. If not, your child will grow up seeing his own father lashing out at his mom. And maybe even his alcoholic dad lashing out at him. Your child wouldn’t be in a safe environment because your bd is mentally unstable when he’s drunk. Also it’s already a red flag that he started drinking again when he found out you were pregnant. Sometimes an absent father is better than an abusive father who takes out his anger on others and can’t control himself.

My bd is also an alcoholic and it got worse when I was pregnant. I broke up with him because I felt unhappy in the relationship and he cheated on me. We don’t contact each other anymore except for child support. And I don’t feel comfortable having him in my life to coparent because of his behavior. I don’t think you should stay with someone just for the child’s sake because it’s toxic for the child and for you.

My father was an alcoholic and now I have past trauma he tries to bond with me and it never feels right. I’d say leave you’re going to continue suffering and as well as your kids they will have hardcore memories of messy life situations. Especially if he’s fighting others. Leave, if he changes if he ever decides too then maybe. But for now he should seek help bc this isn’t healthy for all of you. Do it for your babies mama. I grew up in that environment and I’d much rather see my mom happy stres free and not worrying about a drunk

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*Vent/Advice*Should I leave my alcoholic BD?

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