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May 2023 Babies 🇬🇧

Mum guilt

Sharing for solidarity, please tell me I’m not the only one. I feel like I’ve failed my little boy today 😞 He had a chest infection last weekend and has now passed the cold onto my husband and I, we have been feeling awful. Plus I got my period all at the same time. Little one has been full of energy the last few days, which is lovely to see after being so poorly but when you’re not feeling great, chasing after a cheeky little one is not ideal.

Anyway, he drank all the milk and food we offered him yesterday. It was a lot after he lost his appetite when poorly and unusual for him to drink afternoon bottle but he did. Then drank 7oz bedtime bottle, woke at midnight and had another 7oz, then woke again at 4:30am. Husband tried to settle him as I was running a fever, little one was asleep but wouldn’t transfer to cot. I tried, he was asleep in my arms, even transferred but didn’t stay for me to leave room and then suddenly became inconsolable, crying, pushing me away. I put him in cot and he’d cry even more. After 1.5 hrs of us trying like this (sounds a long time but he genuinely was asleep for a long time in our arms and I really didn’t think he’d be hungry!) I made a bottle. He drank up all 6oz and was back asleep at 6:20. I appreciate that this is late to get him back to sleep but after running a fever all night and being up for 2 hrs, I needed the extra sleep.

We all then slept until 7:30 (late for my little one who is usually up between 6-6:30) we had a late breakfast. We needed to pop into town, he was in his buggy for the right time for his first nap but took him a while to relax and go to sleep. He slept for 35 mins in the buggy, before husband & I went to a coffee shop, the noise and the buggy stopping woke him up. This late nap meant that his usual 2nd nap would be due at 3:30 and far too late.

Then because husband and I were feeling pretty rough and after a broken night, my SIL offered to have little one for a couple of hours. He came home SO tired, so grumpy, had a couple of mouthfuls of his dinner before crying throughout the rest of it because he was too tired. We had some content time before getting him ready for bed. He absolutely drained his bedtime bottle and is now asleep.

Sorry this is so long and basically a diary entry. Basically I feel guilty for 1. Not realising he was hungry at 4:30am and not getting him a bottle sooner then 2. Completely messing up his routine today 3. He only had one very short nap and 4. That I couldn’t be more present and energetic with him because I felt so blooming awful. You know those memes that say “when you only have 30% and you’re giving 30%, you’re still giving 100%” that’s how I feel this weekend! Tomorrow is a new day, little one is at nursery so obviously I feel guilty for that too.