Jealous daddy

My husband is a great husband and father. Our baby has been sick, so she's been seeking mommy most. He's jealous and feeling left out cause she wants me, and he feels he doesn't get much time with her cause he works evenings (I work days) we work opposite shifts... I sleep with her at night cause that's just what works for us... (she's in between us in my arms) please don't comment about that cause that's not what this is about. We are very safe and light sleepers and try to follow safe cosleep guidelines.... anyways, how can I help him feel better? 😔 she loves playing with him and giggling with him... it's just her instincts to seek mommy out when sick...

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I totally hear you and understand why your little one needs you! It's so amazing that he cares for her so deeply. I would tell him how much you appreciate him and tell him that you understand where he's coming from. Whenever possible offer her to him and if she cries go from there. You guys will figure this out and I know it seems impossible but it will work out! You're doing great mama

This is totally developmentally appropriate for babies and kids. It will switch from you to him and back again over and over. Tell him his time will come! The best thing he can do is be consistent and when she needs what he has to offer she will know exactly where to find it.

I would say to look at it from the baby's point. They are in a constant state of discomfort when sick. And if mom is the only one who can soothe them right now, doesn't change their love for dad. There will be plenty of moments where dad is needed/wanted, and not mom. Don't let this moment in time weigh you down too much.

When she gets older she will be more of a daddy's girl. Most everyone wants mama when they are sick. Just remind him that she loves playing with him, give him specific examples if you can, remind him that she is sick.

It’s just temporary, that’s what I’d say. Also try and give him hugs side by side with the baby. Also, a really small thing that can be easy to forget is just to kiss, even in the cheek through the day.

All babies, when ill will always seeks mommas comfort 😂 it's just the way it is. Also, no hate to your way of co-sleeping. My boy would only sleep like this for the first few months

Reassurance is the best way to go. All husbands do have a moment in this life whereby they feel left out and baby wants only mom. Wait until the baby is at toddler phase. The tables turn so fast, she will be a daddy’s girl and you might feel a bit jealous too. That is absolutely fine, the important thing is that the baby has both of you and this phase should not be something that should break you two down. You are amazing parents, don’t let the focus be on jealousy rather on being there for each other and talking about these changes with hugs and kisses. Honestly I hate even labelling this phase as jealousy, it’s such a normal reaction, maybe it’s part of the parenting experience😅.

Honestly the co-sleeping reactions are a bit overrated 🤦🏾‍♀️. The way people have opinions on other peoples parenting skills is just another level. I co slept with my baby and we both slept better than when she was on her bed next to mine. She could feel my heart beat, my warmth and she felt safe.

I have something similar with my partner seeming to be jealous of breastfeeding bond. I'm trying to pay him one compliment per day relating to that he's a good dad and they have an amazing bond. Which they do. I let him give a bottle to show that it doesn't really change bonding. I have also given a bottle to baby and its just not the same I think feeding solids is actually more enjoyable bonding time.
Going back to work in 2 weeks for 1 day per week and baby will be with dad so surely that will help as well.
Once I manage the 1 compliment per day will increase to 3. Also if you can put baby down give husband hugs and affection directly. Men are all about ego

Definitely reassurance and love that he wants to be the comfort parent too ❤️
My son only wanted me when I was nursing him but after 13m, the pendulum swung VERY far and he ONLY wants daddy now. I'm the one who gets jealous 🤣

I saw this thing that says kids look to their moms for comfort and their dads for fun so maybe you can tell him that? I sleep with my son too 🤭

My baby was like this too, I’m sure they all are. But now she is 2 years old and is daddy’s #1 fan! And it’s daddy she calls out for in the night 😂 tell your husband be careful what you wish for haha 😂

He can bond with the baby in other ways. She spent 9 months inside of you and still believes she is a part of you. I’m sorry but being jealous is a little strange to me. Biologically this is how it works. Baby wants to be with mommy.

Also I’m all for bedsharing, but please reconsider the way you are doing it to make sure it’s 100% safe. Only one person in the bed, baby beside you on their back with you C-curled around their body. I know you said not to mention it but there is a lot of stigma around bedsharing so not everyone knows how to do it safely. If this cannot be done please consider a sidecar sleeper bassinet 🤍

I agree with you 100% on the bedsharing judgment - this is why people don’t know how to do it safely and this is unfortunately when there are the most issues. People are usually ashamed to reach out for help on how to do it safely so I do believe suggestions can be given politely just incase she doesn’t know 🤍 nothing at all wrong with bedsharing but it must be done safely

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do