Maternity leave

You're not being a bitch. Idk how people raise kids with separate finances but it's gonna be something that will have to be a constant conversation. Show him the cost of childcare and maybe that will open his eyes to the "cost" of being a stay at home mom even if it's just for a few months

I would write down expenses and budget sheet to help understand your capabilities. I notice often men are focused on the finances and therefore don’t understand there are also emotional costs the come with these literal “expenses”. You’re not being a bitch for sure. I know for myself the discussion is still somewhat unsaid and therefore there are blurred lines when it comes to expectations.

Since he wants to go 50/50, he needs to go 50/50 with everything.
I’m a firm believer in communicating and sitting down to talk things out, but I also believe in strikes!

Since you’re going 50/50, I think you should let his laundry pile up & not cook dinner and let him handle baby’s night feeds.

Maybe that will knock some sense into him? Some people need to feel in order to learn.

He’s a being selfish.
Like Stephanie said maybe write down a budget and pro-rata the expenses based on your income so at the end you both “save” the same % of your income. Even in that scenario you will be left with much less purchase power than him but it will me more balanced than 50/50.
The only part I disagree is that you are doing a major sacrifice for him for going back to work in December. Clearly maternity pay does not cover your expenses so how much time you take off should in any case be a joint decision not exclusively your own.

What’s his half in this pregnancy? Let’s start there. It will never be 50/50 like that. He definitely should contribute more if not all for the time you are in mat leave. When you go back to work you can go back to contributing.

Do you think he may be stressing about not making enough financially? I know my husband has had his moments. Or does he think you’re “getting off easy?” (Which you are NOT)

You are absolutely not being a bitch. It is completely unreasonable to expect you to contribute 50:50 on that salary difference.
We're going to continue to do what we've always done and split based on the % income we have - for example, I earn 60% of our overall combined income, so I pay 60% of the shared bills.
This means we each get to keep aside something for ourselves so the other isn't disproportionately impacted.
On another note, if you want to take longer with your baby and to recover, given you as a family financially can,then you should do x

Depending on your total joint outgoings it would be impossible to pay 50/50 anyway? In my household, my partner earns more than me so we split our joint outgoings based off our percentage out of 100%. In my case, my partner earns 63% and I earn 37% so we split the bills as such. We have a google spreadsheet which details our joint out goings and dates of which they come out as well as our own separate bills so we can really micromanage our money. Obviously this isn’t helpful whilst on mat leave allowance but could help down the line. But whilst on restricted pay I’d tell him to get his head out his butt because it’s unrealistic and totally impossible for you to contribute 50/50 if financially it doesn’t permit. And as the others have said, if he wants to play it like that then tell him where the utensils are, washing powder and all baby essentials because that boy gonna be picking up some extra shifts 😂 x

I couldn’t afford 50% of everything it’s physically impossible. We’ve had to save £5k just to help with my “half” of bills. I saved more than my partner but he still contributed to around £2k of it. He will continue paying an extra £150 on top of his usual half of bills and I will use the savings to cover mine and use mat pay mostly for every day life.

I’m a teacher so also took advantage of shared parental leave which leaves me in a bit of a better situation some months.

If you haven’t saved and you are approaching Mat leave then it’s absolutely unreasonable of him to expect you to pay half when he’s earning so much a week. You are looking after his child and by the sounds of it you’re sacrificing a lot of maternity leave to go back to work when he’s in the financial position to let you stay off for a while?

I only buy the food and the things baby needs such as nappies and new clothes partner pays everything else. Also if you are in the uk on maternity leave do not go back after 3 months if you will be putting child in nursery. The amount you will pay in childcare won’t make it worth leaving your precious little one so early 🥺

Absolutley not, I wouldn’t be ‘slightly annoyed’ by that comment it would genuinely change my whole perception of him. It shows total selfishness. We viewed our income each month as a collective, worked out our expenses and split what was left so we both had an equal amount of ‘personal pocket money’ where we could afford to

Pre maternity we split everything 50/50.
While off my husband paid all household bills on his own and I tended to get our food shop and our daughters things. Only because I do the shopping in the week while he’s in work so I just grab those things while out.
I paid for my own car and phone insurance.
When I return to work I will then be contributing to the household bills again.
He’s still on full wage, I’m on half so it would be crazy to expect me to be able to contribute the same amount.

My maternity pay was a quarter of what I was earning previously so we agreed that I would pay for food shops and anything baby needs and also my phone bill. Anything else was covered by my husband. He still pays everything to do with the house as I’m only working part time now. It’s unreasonable for your partner to expect you to contribute half when maternity pay is so rubbish.

You’re not being a bitch at all. Financially it doesn’t make sense to go 50/50 when you’re on maternity pay. I’m sorry to say but your partner sounds a little deluded.

I’m already in discussions with my partner on how we’ll be paying the bills in our new place (hopefully moving in July) as we’ll have the added cost of nursery fees, along with all the other household bills.

You don’t want to have to worry about being able to afford what you all need while looking after your little one.

My partner would pay all bills and I would buy food for the month and any baby stuff like clothes etc he would also buy Nappies and formula in bulk to last the month

Zero.

No you’re not, I’m sorry but that’s way too much to expect. What’s the normal financial situation? Are you married or dating? Hard to gauge what’s normal in your situation .

In this situation I’ll pay £0. Not fair at all🙂

Sorry but What a dick!. I don't pay anything at the moment as I m not earning my own money to take care of our child. His money is OUR money.
He also care our baby when he's back from work and during weekends and also wakes up for night feed when it's needed.

You can only be 5050 if you are on equal/ similar wages. Me & bf currently do 5050 as he makes just a bit more than me each month. But when I’m on maternity leave he’ll be on waaay more than me. There’s no way I can do 5050 or I’d be left with pretty much 0 after bills. Have a massive serious talk with him & explain why it wouldn’t work & write it all down ❤️ also you are NOT being a bitch. You’ll be making sure his kid is fed and healthy & looked after which is also a job x

Get him to pay you for your work as a stay at home mum and then split the bills 50/50. 🤣😂 bill him for every job you do. But seriously... no. As others have said, try and chat about it and maybe split via percentage of income=percentage of bills paid. 🤷‍♀️ good luck

I'm 50/50 with my partner with the bills, if I need some more money for stuff I'll ask him an he's more than willing to send some over.

I think you need to talk to him make him understand how you feel, only having 4 months off with your baby is tough, I'm having the year off an still doesn't seem like enough time. Are you going back because of finances? For me I'm thinking we'll get by, money comes and goes but time doesn't, don't wanna miss all them precious memories.
Since he wants to go 50/50, should be all 50/50, all chores, ik he's working but so are you, an it doesn't stop at 5pm!

Hope you can come to some agreement xx

I've not read through all the comments so apologies if it's beeb mentioned but both times I've been on mat leave we've worked out s percentage of what we should be paying based of what we're earning. If that makes sense. Did the same when I returned back to work ad well as he started to earn more.than me. It seems the fairest way and works for us.

Me and my husband never do a 50/50 split anyway as he earns more than me and he will pick up even more of the slack whilst I am on leave. I have some money saved but that's mainly so I can continue to afford my daughter's childminder whilst I am off.
I think he needs his head shaking if he thinks you can afford 50/50