Husband hiding under the bed (who does this?)

I don’t know many narcissists but that is fucking weird
I suspect confrontation triggers some childhood trauma? Adults don’t hide under a bed for 6 hours

the crazy part is that he’s the most confrontational person I know. His parents separated (never married) but he was already an adult. And my father in law was never abusive. (I have heard both sides from his parents personally) I get a long with them well and he doesn’t talk to anyone in his family. It’s how I started realizing I’m not the problem. So it’s just sooo weird to me that he did that

Is it possible he could be on the spectrum and some of his confrontation and lack of communication could actually be skills he never learned? Especially if he was undiagnosed and never received help?

as of lately I have noticed he has no emotional intelligence or self awareness BUT he is one of the smartest people I have ever met. Super fast learner and just generally good at whatever he wants to be good at. So you may be onto something but I’m not a dr to diagnose him and unfortunately he’s the type to avoid the dr at all costs. 😔

i’m sorry but i would’ve laughed at him doing that and reading this i just giggled in disbelief. if he’s not on the spectrum do you think he did that to make you uncomfortable?

lol I cannot make this up! Old me would of stayed there begging him to get out helping him work through it but now I just ignored it after I asked him to get out once I’m like 🤷‍♀️ I feel like he did it to make me feel bad

Sounds like he was looking for attention. Very odd.

Especially that you said you would typically respond and this time you didn't (ignored). Good for you

He sounds autistic. He probably doesn’t know how to engage with you in a normal or healthy way right now and needs guidance and support from someone.

Your further comment in how he's really smart in some area's but then completely lacks emotional stuff does make me think even more of he's autistic as my husband and son both are. My son is now 14 and is so smart he's one for straight forward facts and lives talking about what he's learned with others but at the same time he seriously has no idea how to deal with his emotions and he hates socialising with anyone except his dad, me and his sisters. Does your partner struggle to express his emotions or maybe seems closed off from them. Does he seem like an introvert where he doesn't want to interact with others or maybe seem like he tries too hard as autistic people can literally go from one end of the scale to the other there's no inbetween or balance.

In my experience its extremely difficult to get any diagnosis connected to the spectrum as people seem to prefer ot to be connected to mental health or trauma of some kind. However you can research and try to work out ways you can support him as I've had to do that with my husband over the years. He'd never been diagnosed only told as a teen he had learning difficulties it's taken a lot of work from me to discover how to emotionally help him as he's never received help from anyone else so he's just accepted he is who he is and hasnt really tried to work out why he functions the way he does if that makes sense.
Him going under the bed reminds me of something my son did a few times when he was little as he liked the enclosed space there. He even fell asleep under his bed at one point he just felt safe there. Maybe it's similar for your partner if he does it again just wait for him to come out in his own time and observe if he seems calmer afterward

I’m sorry but I would’ve laughed the whole 6 hours I couldn’t deal with that 😭😭

I would consider him more of an extrovert but there’s always terms and conditions. For example sometimes he hangs out with our neighbors has some beers with them, and sometimes he confronts them about something and is rude or won’t talk to them? Like I’m sure our neighbors are extremely confused by his behavior. We just never know what we’re gonna get🤷‍♀️

I agree with you, and I have tried to help him for 6 years and he just shuts me out which is why I’m leaning towards divorce. Not only that he is extremely offensive towards me and always brings up my trauma which I have worked through but told him about. Every time I try to help him he just tells me I need to get off the internet. “I’m brainwashed” and that I’m the one who needs help etc

Sounds like the healthiest thing for you is to leave based on what you’ve shared . Whether it’s autism or something else he needs help from a professional and if he’s not willing to do that then he will always be the way he is and that’s your call if it’s something you can live with (although it sounds like you’ve made up your mind).

I personally think this is classic narcissistic behaviour. When you corner them, catch them out and they have no where left to hide etc. He can’t react in any other way, anger or twist things for eg bc he already knows your leaving and that his cover is blown. So it’s a last ditch attempt at deflection. To make it about him Xx

Once a narc mask is removed they are usually an empty shell of themselves and weak, insecure person etc. I believe that’s who was hiding under your bed for 6 hours! X

Also a narcissist is usually born of a trauma during childhood. It could be him reverting back to his instinct of avoidance when he was little X

He could have bipolar or anxiety and depression unless he gets checked out nobody will ever know but I do think you could do way better without him

Update since this incident happened I’M getting the silent treatment lol usually how it goes until he decides he’s over it

Incognito that sounds miserable

Another narc trait! Xx