Feeding rant (long post, feel free to share your own grievances!)

I am 31 weeks pregnant with our one and only double rainbow, and eagerly awaiting her arrival in late july via scheduled csection. As such, hubs and i discussed a feeding plan. That plan is to exclusively formula feed, for multiple reasons including the fact that I need to get back on my regular medication for my depression. I have looked into/tried other antidepressants that are supposed to be safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding but they do not work for me and I have been on mine (Trazodone 100mg daily) for literal years at this point. I stopped it when I found out I was pregnant as it crosses the placenta and in such a high dosage it can cause toxicity in neonates. Now here is the issue;

Every time I see "breast is best" I want to rip my hair out! It's always from self righteous people who will try to coerce or guilt you into giving breastfeeding a try or finding donor milk or even just pumping, all while claiming that it helps reduce post partum depression and everything like that. I agree that breastfeeding is AMAZING! It is crazy how our bodies can create and support another human being with just the fuel we provide ourselves and that is a wonderful thing! I do not agree with the entire "breast is best" campaign. For my family, and millions of others, FED IS BEST. however that happens, as long as baby is eating and growing why does it bother people whether or not my baby eats from me?? I would rather have my daughter drinking formula so she doesnt unnecessarily get exposed to HIGH levels of SSRI's while I take care of my mental health over breastfeeding and unable to do anything for myself, including bathe. Major Clinical Depression is not something that just goes away in most people and I am so tired of hearing the rhetoric that breastfeeding solves all mental health issues. It doesnt, and in alot of cases can actually make people's PPD WORSE!

Again, if you are breastfeeding or planning to, I commend you, I am glad you find that to be the best decision for your body and your baby. It is not the best decision for *my body* or *my baby* and I am exhausted by having to defend my stance on this.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!🩷

in our community

You are NOT the father!

When I found out I was pregnant, I told the person I was certain about him being the father; he was not going to be involved he said, and went ghost. Blocked me and all. I filed CP.

DNA test came back , not the father. Omg. I’m so embarrassed. HONESTLY SHOCKED.

So now… I know who my child’s bio father is. There was one other person I was with during the window. I told him. He took it well.

I spent months holding on to pain bitterness and anxiety about that person I thought was my baby’s dad.
Has anyone else experienced anything dramatic like this?

Even though it feels like a weight is lifted, I feel ashamed and embarrassed at the same time. I’ve never gotten around , and this feels like a suburban Maury Povich episode.

Partner

Hi my partner has postpartum depression. I have been fine this time around & he’s developed it quite bad . To the point his mental health is rubbing on mine daily now . He’s been told by me , go doctors get help etc. I will even sit in the appointment with him , we’ve even spoke to HV & she reckons his mental health is low so she’s recommended several things to help . How do I cope with it myself? Because I’m finding myself struggling with his mood swings on a daily basis to the point I do not even wanna be in the same household anymore . I get mental health issues, when I met him mine were severe & I got the help I needed . Now I find myself going backwards due to this . Any advice?

Green in spit up

Hi, my baby has spit up this morning and I noticed it has some green in it. Google said it could be bile or mucus, but I’m just wondering if anyone has had this before? Trying to figure out whether I need to be super concerned or not, as she seems perfectly fine otherwise.

Baby carriers

Anyone got a favourite baby carrier apart from the ergobaby?

We had the baby bjorn mini but need something sturdier. I borrowed the ergobaby breeze and she doesn’t love it but not sure if it’s just that she hates not being able to see around or she doesn’t like the carrier

5 month old not sleeping with Daddy

My partner use to work evenings until our LB was 2 months. Their relationship wasnt very strong and baby would always cry with him. Baby is now 5 months in a few days and for about a month now he will not fall asleep with Dad.

We take turns every night and we have had a very strict routine which we have stuck by since he was a month old. One will bath and dress him and the other will feed him a bottle and rock him to sleep.

He goes down perfectly fine with me (mum) and I dont even have to pay attention to him, I just give him a bottle and 9/10 he will fall asleep with the bottle or once finished will fall asleep within 10 minutes. All I have to do is hold him.

Dad does the same thing and even uses a dummy and sometimes we find it use to help. Baby is fine but once bottle in finished he doesnt go to sleep and when hes being fed his eyes are wide open. My partner says he usually looks at the door whilst he's crying. He rocks him, tries to soothe him and does more than what I do. It would take him well over an hour to put baby to sleep.

Now baby will not fall asleep with him and I have to put him to sleep every night.

Has anyone else experienced this? Thanks x

Two week old

Recently my two week old has been fighting sleep. It’s a struggle to get him to stay asleep after he’s fallen asleep in my arms or at the breast. Anyone else struggle with this? I’m tired and desperate.