This is going to be a long one soz in advance…

I just want to know if I’m being over sensitive or if this genuinely is weird. What would you do in my situation?

We are the first ones in our friend group to have a baby and everyone has generally been great and we’ve had good support. It is definitely different with people who don’t have kids though and I’ve found it does kind of change your relationship a bit.

Anyway, one of my friends is going through quite a hard time at the moment and is having some mental health difficulties. I’ve been meeting up with her most weeks which has been really nice but she’s weirdly possessive over my baby and has said some weird stuff recently that has kind of freaked me out a bit.

I saw her this week and she was holding my babies hand and said ‘future husband’. I laughed but in my head I was like ummm what the actual fuck. I get it was a joke, but it’s a bit of weird thing to say?! She also always says stuff to him like ‘I would die for you’ or ‘you are literally the best thing in my life’.

She also always wants to hold him, but like, a lot. She’ll be like ‘I’ll hold him, I’ll hold him’!!! But kind of like, not really asking to hold him more just telling us that that’s what’s happening.

She also always says that he’s 33.3% hers, again, I get this is a joke, but it really winds me up and I do not like it at all. Like after we saw her yesterday she sent me a photo she’d taken of my baby with the caption ‘33.3% mine’. I really don’t get why she says this and I just hate it. I didn’t really know what to say without being rude so I just didn’t reply.

That’s another thing, she’s always taking photos of him, which I don’t mind, but it’s like, a lot and she’s never asked if it’s ok.

She’s also said stuff like ‘I can’t wait until he’s phoning me to pick him up from parties that he doesn’t want you to know about’ and I’m like yeah that’s not happening 😂 I want a relationship with my son like I had with my mum, I want him to be able to always come to me for help and to feel that I won’t judge him. But anyway, it’s another joke, but it just grates on me.

Basically, it’s starting to weird me out because she’s getting worse and worse and tbh I kind of don’t really want to see her if she’s going to keep doing this, but I know she’s going through a hard time. She was like this before she was going through this stuff though. What would you do in my situation? Do you think I’m just being sensitive?

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Definitely a red flag and something to talk to her about. I'd be direct and ask her what she actually means by that and make a decision from her response.

I’d either call her out on it or text her and explain your feelings. Be kind but also precise so the friend understands what the issue is and there’s no confusion. I don’t think you’re being sensitive (and I find most posts asking for an opinion are people being sensitive) so stand your ground for what is comfortable x

I think I’d just say to her that you guys need some space and she needs to focus on getting herself better / in a happier place - if she reacts bad then I’d be inclined to ignore her for the time being and step back from her as it sounds possessive as you’ve pointed out and unhealthy, if you’ve noticed her behaviour increasingly getting worse then it sounds about time to put that space between her and your baby to protect your wee one. It’s difficult but you’re right to question it and you’re not being overly sensitive imo xx

Some of those things sound a bit strange but mainly they sound like someone who is so excited to be part of your babies life and you can never have too many people who care for your child.

You may also find that your baby is helping her with her mental health, something positive to focus on. It may also have woken a desire to have kids that could be challenging for her.

The weird statements like 'future husband' call her out on them in the moment, don't dwell on them. If you really hate the 33%mine then make a joke about her picking up 33% of the cost and sleepless nights.

But be careful, your baby could be a huge anchor point in her recovery and you may want to know that you have a village to help with late night pick ups in the future x

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