I don’t know what's wrong with me. Whenever my in laws come to my house they always insist on taking my daughter home with them although I know my little girl will be okay down my in laws.

The next time they take her after you say no (which I don’t understand how they just took her) you call the police because that’s kidnapping. No one should be taking your child if day no. You don’t have to have a reason for them not to take her.

What you’re feeling is normal. Our brains change after birth to be more perceptive to danger and being away from our babies. It’s completely ok to tell them no. You’re the mom and get to make the rules. Own that power.

Nothing wrong with you at all, I’ve been the exact same way with both my babies!! If they’re trying to be helpful maybe you could give them a couple of alternatives that would be better for you, like maybe they could do your food shop for you, or look after her at home, or help you with housework? If you offer alternatives and they say no then that’s their choice, they don’t get to dictate to you what’s best for your family, and if they really wanted to help they will happily accept the alternatives 💕

I think it cruel of them to take the baby from you. Anyone would feel anxiety if their baby isn’t close to them

I mean, I would take any break I could get, to be honest. It's not like it's a total stranger taking her is it. But at the same time, it's not very helpful taking her when it's her nap time. Maybe you should arrange with them a more appropriate time for them to take her for a few hours, when it is convenient for you. Then they won't just take her when they feel like it.

Nothing wrong with the way you're feeling at all. I'm perfectly happy leaving my LO with my own mum, but I'm full of anxiety thinking about doing the same with my in laws

You’re a mum, politeness goes out the door when trying to protect your child. Screw hurting their feelings or being non-confrontational - no means no.

I don't blame you at all for being like that, just flat out say no next time.
The most I've had with out my LO (we do exclusively breastfeed on demand) has been 30 minutes to pick up a fish and chips for dinner and a 1 hour nap my LO took with my mom in the same house as me. No one could get away with that shit with me 😅

If you asked and stated you need a break and they took her then yh but just taking her is weird and I wouldn’t let them sorry!.

exactly! So I don't know why I still feel so much anxiety for 🤦🏻‍♀️ I could try.

yes I'm the same, with my own mum I have no problem.

I think ita normal but also the age of the baby as a lot to do with it. When my LO was an infant and little i could not stand being away and it wasn't till LO got older that I slowly startes tobe okay with it.

It took time.

Be rude. Say no. "No." is a complete sentence. Hold the boundaries you feel are necessary. Have the fight. Be confrontational. You are the mother, not the babysitter. Your child is not a chance for your in laws to have a do over.

Say absolutely not thank you for offering though 🩷 say maybe another time or say I don’t feel comfortable due to her age and vulnerability

I felt exactly the same way and I still do ! Im like this with my own mum taking him ( he’s 13 months now) I just worry all the time and feel anxious. I wonder if he’s thirsty or needs something and no one is attending to him because only I know his cues. I will be honest with you I actually regret feeling like this because it just leaves me completely burnt out and exhausted . I barely do anything for myself anymore because I just want to constantly be with my baby and accept no help . I always remind myself that they just love their grandson/daughter so much and want to spend time with him/her as much as they can . If you can from time to time let them take your baby , they will always love and nurture that child it’s in the safest hands and it all comes from a place of love xxx

If my in laws did that I'd be fuming! I'd need to first be comfortable with them being filled in and respect how we want our baby looked after, fed, napped etc.!

Your anxiety is normal mama. Don't let them bully you. You are the mom and if you feel your baby should be right next to you is totally ok. My baby is 9mo and I haven't ever let my baby without me except with dad and my sister for max 2 hours and whenever I feel ok with it

If they don't respect your no, then how can you trust them to look after your child the way you want them to when you're not there?

Try and slowly build confidence in them to look after you LO but it should be on your terms and accepting 'no, you're not taking her right now' should be the starting point

Your gut is probably warning you they're pushing boundaries. They aren't respecting your no, so what other rules/boundaries that you set will they disregard and push.
Put your foot absolutely down and tell them that until they respect your no and other boundaries, you absolutely cannot feel comfortable to say yes. They should not have to beg or insist and push you.
The same goes for so many things in life.

Why are they taking your baby when you told them no? No wonder you're extra nervous! That sounds like crossing a boundary, regardless if whether you think she'd be safe with them or not.
Can you talk to your partner about this? See if they're willing to run some interference and lay down the boundary so you don't have to feel too confrontational? But you are absolutely within your right to also lay down the law with them. No excuses necessary. She is YOUR baby, not theirs.

not being funny but regardless of the fact they’re family, you have said NO to them taking your daughter, them just going ahead and taking her anyway is kidnapping ! i’d be straight on the phone to the police if it were me ! that’s not okay on any level !

No means no. It doesn't mean, I'm uncomfortable, but you can take my baby anyway. You'll need to be able to tell people no to be an effective mother for your child, and this is great practice. Next time give them an actual no and kick them out of your house. If it is easier, try meeting at their house so you can pick up your baby and leave. Good luck.

Put the baby in a carrier and say no. Or get creative and say great idea we will meet you there. Or even could I bring her over on this day instead? Or maybe no I am going to take her on a walk or to the zoo. If you have to you can load her up in a car or stroller and leave the house.

It’s only nice of them and helpful if you want the space. It’s perfectly normal to not want the space or time away from baby. My baby is 9 months and I’ve only just started being grateful for an hour to myself now and again. Before now I’ve not wanted it, not appreciated it and felt angry that people kept suggesting it and offering to take my baby. Like no, he’s mine, I need him with me. 😂
It’s really not about your in laws, the priority is not making them feel happy by giving them your child, the priority is you and your daughter and what she needs. Sometimes it’s harsh but it’s reality, you don’t need to be polite and compromise what you want. Especially to in laws

I wouldn't like this at all, whether my own mum or in laws. I'd have to shut it down. No making excuses. 'no, she's fine here'. If they'd continue just taking her, there would be a big problem as I would be so angry I'd flip.

Thankyou ladies for all of your responses, I know that if I read this post sent by someone else I too would be fuming and would say that it is unacceptable, I only try to respect my in laws and that's why I don’t cause too much of a fuss, I have done in the past and then they stopped saying they would take her all the time, sometimes I feel like they just test the waters to see if I would say anything or not 😕 but hopefully will be much stronger next time.

Why do they need to take your bub anyways? If you haven’t asked them too then bub is perfectly fine staying with you. I get anxiety people just holding my bub so don’t worry

Stand your ground and say no. Your baby, your rules. They should respect that. I don't let my in-laws look after my baby yet. I don't think I will for a while. He goes to daycare and I feel comfortable with that. I don't feel comfortable leaving him with people with no first aid training and old-fashioned parenting beliefs.

@Jessica so you'd rather leave him with complete strangers than his own family? I'm sorry, but that is just weird 🤨

@Rachel I don't think it's strange at all. If family aren't stepping in in the right way but friends are, then that's on the family members 😆

@India she didn't say anything about friends. She said she leaves him at daycare. So apparently, leaving your child with people they barely know is safer than leaving them with family 🤔

If that family is literally kidnapping the child, then yeah, I can see where a daycare is safer.
I don't trust my LO with any of my family. Constantly lying, years of using me as a pawn to bolster themselves, protecting a pedo...
Just because they're family doesn't make them safe to be around.