Got an Email while at work from BD (rambling)

So long story short, baby has never met her father, doesn't know anything about her father, let alone she has a father. I have no good things to say about him.

Yesterday I got an email from him for the first time since May (never even sent one for her birthday, and I know he knows or can even ask when her birthday is). He's asking to meet in person so he can do whatever you help. He has not helped a day since she was conceived but put me in grief. I left him when I was almost 2 months pregnant, and have been nearly no-contact since I was 3 months pregnant.

The only contact I have is through email as I have him blocked everywhere else. I do not trust him, I'm also scared of him. This guy is twice my size and has anger problems. I do not trust him around my daughter. Yesterday she was cranky all day, and what does someone with anger problems going to do with a baby who just wants to cry cause she's tired and wants mamas milk?

So yeah, I'm not going to answer as I've been advised to. He doesn't know where I live. And I honestly think that with how tiny my baby girl is, he could kill her. I've had this fear since before she was born. He probably forgets that he has a child with how little he actually reaches out to me.

He's begging me to contact him, he says he wants to make things work and that baby girl should have two loving parents. And not two people who hate one another. (It's not hate, it's fear.) He says he wants to help, and will meet someone to be served papers.

So on that note, I've been advised to wait until he serves me court papers as he rarely contacts me and I also don't know where he's living now. He's moved jobs and apartments so many times. I saw him at Walmart, but I got so scared I ran out of the fire exit door. He didn't know I was there.

He also has no parental rights over her as he has done nothing. Nothing! For her since she was conceived.

This guy (31) is controlling, manipulative, and abusive. He's been to jail at 13 years old for trying to murder his own mother. All this I didn't know until 5 months after I left him and moved.

BG's birthday is in June, and I got nothing, no email, nothing to wish her a happy birthday. His mother knows and told him around the time that it was. He even knew my due date was June 8th. But yeah, still nothing. It's August.

Im just sick and tired of this guy. BG and I are doing just fine without him.

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I relate to you HEAVILY! I have a ro on him though so I’m order for everything he has to go through my mom, he also isn’t allowed to know where I live because he has stalked me before. And he hates my mom so much 6 months of my son being born (almost 7) he still hasn’t messaged her about anything except the one time he met him and he only stayed for 5 minutes because my son “wasn’t white enough” for him NEWS FLASH IM NOT WHITE

he literally said to me "she can't be mine, she doesn't look anything like me" but she looks like me??? That might be why??? He also claimed that it must be another guy who I slept with 7 months prior to conceiving must be her father.

These guys suck.

Mine slept with 7 SEVEN women when he found out I was pregnant because he said “I thought my life was over” but said I cheated on him even though he gave me a curfew of 8pm even my parents in 7th grade didn’t have me come home that early like wtf

that guy is messed up! I got the constant complaint of blue balls cause I had a life outside of him. Like a job and a house to maintain

Exactly not to mention he took 3 paternity tests because he thought I paid them off to say yes he’s the father, as if I have the energy or money to do that like this is embarrassing at this point I rather Nick cannon be my bd 💀💀

How could you! You are terrible for wanting a life and working😒😒

sounds like you're better without him in your life. BD wants a parternity test as well, but I said he has to pay for it and I'd rather it be court ordered. I don't want him anywhere near me. If it gets worse, I'll need a RO on him as well. I don't even want to tell him I have a job right now

Don’t bother, if he cares that much he’ll take you to court but I’ve heard that too and here I am no court date in sight.

I've been advised to that as well by a lawyer

I didn’t even bother putting him on the birth certificate

same! He doesn't have to be in their lives and no permission for anything

I knew if I gave him that right he’d be able to access my medical information too And I feel like he’d use things from 15 years ago to “prove his point” in a case that probably won’t happen but I’m still not taking the chance.

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

Looking for more same age friends!!

Hi! I’m 23 and a stay at home (soon to be) mom. I have been having a tough time finding friends/women in similar circumstances to mine and would love to make some if possible! If you feel the same, let me know

Advice

Hi everyone! I honestly have 0 social queues when it comes to talking to anyone in general. I definitely have a hard time talking to other women and making new friends. I can 100% relate. I just don’t like the idea of texting or meeting up but when I do I’m like “oh this isn’t bad.” Any advice? I also have a hard time getting comfortable and just feeling judged by other women😅 I’m also 19 so maybe making a change in this now will help in the future making mom friends/friends in general. Thanks in advance!

Hard to relate to others

I feel like I struggle so much with finding people I can be myself around. Before pregnancy it was hard enough, now as I mom i feel like im never going to have a real friend. Im an "alt conservative" ive always had dyed hair and I love tattoos though I only have one for now. Im a Christian, though I tend to be uncomfortable in church because of my social anxiety and ive never had anyone to go with. A lot of conservative people get nervous to talk to me because they think im liberal so they keep me at arms length and liberal people tend to freak out and block me when they find out im conservative or they'll push me and try to make me do things im uncomfortable with. I used to just smile and fake my way through social interactions but now its so important for me to model confidence in myself to my boy. To have my bright colored hair, because its just hair its fun it doesnt hurt anyone, but to praise god.

Fiancé won’t talk to baby

Am I being dramatic? Im 23 weeks and my fiancé refuses to talk to the baby. He touches my belly sometimes but that’s the most he’ll do. I brought it up to him saying it’s important for him to have bonding time with baby while baby is developing but he refuses and tells me not to dictate his relationship with his child. Is this a red flag?

BJ’s

Am I the only one that thinks blowjobs are boring?