Help - UK moms
I have a nearly 8 month old baby and when I first went on mat leave both me and my partner agreed that I would take 12 months off even knowing the last 3 months were unpaid. Yesterday we disagreed over something that has nothing to do with money whatsoever but he told me straight to my face that if he was to wait for me, there would be “no food on the table” and I am only on my 2nd week of not being paid. Every week I would get my stat mat pay and would pay the rent or the groceries for the week, so technically I am not helping but only for 2 weeks now. I feel humiliated and useless. I have my baby’s savings but I don’t want to be using them as that is her money I have saved. UC isn’t helping bc we are on a joint claim and he is working full time. Thing is I asked him to move out so I could change my circumstances and tell them I am now on my own, but he said he’s going nowhere. I feel sick knowing that I won’t have any income for 3 months and I don’t want nothing from him, not even a penny after he made me feel the way he did. What am I supposed to do? I’ve no family here so I have nowhere to go with the baby either, and with no income it’s just impossible to rent a house. I also cannot get any help because he’s still living here. Any advice would be very much appreciated.
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I feel like mothers should get a lot more support, they’re only small for a short period of time and we normally miss out on so much to be able to go back to work. that was our plan too.. for me to return to work only when she’s 2 or when she can talk. But now I’m completely lost as I don’t believe the government will help if I choose not to return to work even with me being single. I suffer from anxiety too and I was on medication I can’t cope with the thought of leaving her with someone who I don’t even know, I’ve been suffering sm and we still have 3 months until I’m due back. Thank you 😔
You shouldn’t feel bad it’s his job to provide and your job to look after the baby. Your job is much more important. He needs to support you instead of making you feel like the only option you have is for him to move out so you can get help from the government. It’s his responsibility to support his family while you’re raising his child unpaid for 2 weeks!
If it were me, I’d be petty and show him some nurseries I was “looking at” and put the price per day on there too. I’d say I’m going back to work and these are the nursery fees and as I’ll be going back to work, baby duties are to be split 50/50 😊 I’m sure he’ll go back on his word then and realise he’s getting a complete bargain with you staying home from work for 3 months raising his baby!
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