I have a troubled three year-old. I know that he’s only three and he’s a boy and three year olds are wild and stuff but I don’t think this is wild and him being a kid. This is more like he is mean. so I have an eight month old she’s starting to crawl around. She’s starting to stand up. She’s starting to play with toys but every time she is trying to play with the toy, my son grabs it from her takes it from her and says it’s mine. I tried to show him that she can play with the toys and That they need to share, but he doesn’t understand. He’s also been pushing her when she stands up also spitting on her. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried timeout. I’ve tried separating them. I’ve tried taking some of his toys away. But it doesn’t work and he just hitting me, spitting on me and screaming at me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and I’m losing my mind.
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It is hard, but that sounds like a typical 3 year old. You just have to stay consistant and keep the baby safe until he gets it

Im the baby of 8 kids, I have 21 nieces and nephews and twins of my own and this is totally normal sibling behavior, stay consistent, it'll be okay mama 🫶🏻

Hi I’m a daycare provider with mixed age kids so I deal with this everyday. Firstly, safety I would always keep baby near you and if you see your toddler about to hit or push I would block and firmly say ‘I won’t let you hit/push etc.’ if they do hurt baby give all the attention to the hurt child and say what happened ‘oh no, (name) pushed you, that really hurts, your crying and crying’ this makes it so the hurt child is being seen and the child who hurt sees empathy and caring for others. I recommend the book ‘Good Inside’ it covers all of this.

Spitting: I tell children they can spit in the trash, the toilet, or the sink but we don’t spit on people and will take them there and show them the trash etc. that takes some of the fun out of them getting a big reaction from you.

Taking toys: If the baby doesn’t care and moves on I would let it slide, if they are fighting for a toy and you saw who had the toy first I would step in and say ‘it’s (name) turn, your waiting for your turn.’ I have that huge 5x5 playpen we call it the builder box I let my 4yo and older kids go in there to build things so that the baby can’t wreck it, they are old enough that they can get in and out of the side zipper and it works like a charm for keeping peace.

He just wants more of your attention. It's hard when he has to share you with another sibling. My son is the same with his younger sister, but when I specifically have one on one time with him and we read together or snuggle a little, he does much better.
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