Idk what to do

I’m so sorry you are going through this. As well as the sport May teach him about healthy foods thst will keep him full and healthy snack options as well! Exercise can only do so much, diet is just as important

it’s not even just the healthy foods, it’s portions with him. He’s never full. He can keep eating until he pukes. If I say anything to him he claims I’m fat shaming. I started cooking just enough to have absolutely no left overs so he can’t go back for more. I’m hiding the snacks. I’m doing everything I can. He absolutely refuses a therapist. I tried, he went once and won’t go again. I can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do, especially since his father and I aren’t together he will just leave me and go to dad and get what he wants. I finally got to the point where I told him if HES happy with himself then that’s all that matters. If he’s not happy, then we need to make a change. I know he’s not happy with himself so I am putting my foot down further. I’ve tried to get him to go to the gym with me, he won’t. So he’s doing a sport. It’s so hard knowing you’re making your child do something good, but one person saying one mean thing can ruin it completely.

That’s tough. Pre-teen and teenage boys are known for their huge appetites, but it sounds like he’s already in overweight/obese territory. I know BMI isn’t always the most accurate (especially for very muscular people), but you can check his BMI here. https://www.cdc.gov/bmi/child-teen-calculator/index.html

I’d also suggest seeing a doctor and having them run some bloodwork. The never being full and eating until puking is concerning - it’s possible he has a medical condition causing the insatiable appetite. There are several hormones linked to satiety, so if they’re off, they could cause an unusually large appetite.

My daughter was living with her bio father as we thought it would be better since I had to move for work and her therapy for ADHD and autism was already established. Well he used food as a form of discipline so she has food insecurities. Among other abusive tactics i had no idea about. She will eat or hoard food. We had to lock our pantry. I set out several snacks out for the day. Some fun ones but mainly fruit. We also quit bringing in sugary treats unless an occasion calls for it.
It's hard with a special needs kid to not get bullied but you're anxiety over it will rub off on him. Ask him what he wants to do instead of choosing for him. There's all kinds of sports out there. My daughter thrives in volleyball and karate. When I got her back in May she was 5 foot 6 and 180lbs. Also try taking with a dietician to make sure you know and he cam learn healthy portion sizes for his height and weight. Plus he could have an eating disorder due to bullying amd things. A therapist might be a good idea as well to help

I know it’s hard but try to buy healthy foods , only include like a burger n fries on a weekend. Try to exclude a lot of processed foods. I myself vow to not let my kids too much junk bcuz we are on the heavier side than we’d like. Don’t allow any type of guilt to stop you from doing what’s best for him health-wise, he’ll get bullied more at school for being chunky.

that’s what I’m hoping. Maybe for once him being the big kid will be a good thing. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m trying

he definitely uses food as a coping mechanism. And I know exactly where he got it from. Me. I do the same. When stressed out I want to shove my face with food, and to be honest sometimes I do. However most times I transfer that feeling to the gym. My fiancé told me to lock my pantry, but again I just hate that. He’s super sensitive and holds everything in. The last thing I want is for him to think I believe he’s fat and I have to lock food to keep it from him. How did you explain the locked pantry to your daughter?

My daughter was also pudgy growing up but hit puberty and just dropped every ounce of extra weight she had. I feel like he thinks that’s going to happen to him and I told him we all aren’t that lucky lol. My dad is 6’1 and 200 pounds. My uncle is 6’2 and 230 pounds. They are huge men and I don’t mean fat, they are solid. So I know that’s how my son is going to be, but at 5’5 he’s not proportionate yet and gets bullied terribly.

I’m going to try that more too. Everything is so damn expensive now a days and I’m doing it all on my own. My rent alone is $2500. I went food shopping at my local bjs just to get snack food for school lunches. I got trail mix, carrot sticks with ff ranch cups. Would you believe he ate ten individual size bags of trail mix in 2.5 days? The bag of carrots? Gone. I can’t afford to keep up with it!

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time. football is a great option for him! It's not as brutal as it used to be, and the great part about it is that his size is a good thing. At his age, everyone is just learning the positions and rules. I really hope it all works out for the both of you 🙏🏾

this is what I’m hoping 🥹 I hope his size for once is actually a good thing, and he can build confidence off of that and the binge eating will slow/stop because he won’t be in his feelings about his size. I’m hoping for a positive snowball effect.

I thought the same about baseball especially since I put him on a little league but those kids clearly played since the womb.. so I’m a bit nervous with that

That’s a lot of trail mix ! My dear I know the economy is not for us at all. Budgeting helps me a lot. I shop at Aldi (canned goods, snacks, milk, egg, flour, sugar and sausage, cheese) dollar tree ( some cleaning agents, everyday items) BJ for snacks and toiletries that would last for the whole month. I some store brand items except like cereal for the kids. Just slowly cut back, if you need to get a lock and key or put stuff in your room and lock the door so be it. Drastic change to get him healthy

I agree! I do BJs for school snacks because they last months….. or so I thought.
I hate having to do that because it’s not fair to my daughter, so I’m thinking I’ll give her snacks to keep in her room, school snacks I’ll keep in my closet. This way I can control what he’s actually taking. Dinner I’m cutting portions and putting healthier alternatives. It’s a learning process for me too. I grew up on a meat potato and veggie my whole life. And pork chops. Oh god the pork chops. They must of been on sale all throughout the 90s. That and hamburger helper 🤮
Thank you so much for your advice!

So it was not a pleasant conversation but I told her that we can't afford to go through so much food and she's not using food in a healthy way. I had one baby and was pregnant when I got her back and all of a sudden we had mice due to her hiding food under her bed. That of course was addressed that it's not healthy for her or her baby brother to have mice in the house. My daughter wouldn't stop at sugary foods. She would do it with loaves of bread too. Locking the pantry is necessary. We will give her opportunities to select good snacks and she helps me proton her snacks. You just have to be honest with him. He's not going to understand he's not making good life choices if he continues to make himself sick. That's where therapy would really help and also talking with a dietician. When he says those things to you he says it because he knows you feel guilty and bad. That's why he does it.

Football sign ups were today. He’s signed up and ready to go. I’m so nervous. I’m a football girl, but I never wanted my son to play it. Hes so nervous because he doesn’t know much about it, just what we watch on tv. Hes been YouTubing videos on positions. He signed up for defensive tackle which I think is perfect for him. I told him this is going to be hard, but it’s going to be so worth it. He’s going to sweat, he’s probably going to puke, he’s going to be so sore, but it’s all so worth it in the end.

believe it or not it was mostly girls last year bullying him. This is only his first full week of school and he hasn’t mentioned anything, I just hope it stays that way. I also hope football gives him confidence. He’s a quiet kid and an old soul. He doesn’t really make friends because he really has nothing in common with boys his age. It’s sad. I just pray this works out

Also I had to sign all the paperwork about sudden cardiac arrest and I’m literally riddled with anxiety after that. Thank god the kids are at their dads tonight because I need a drink.